by raiders2145698 December 3, 2020
One of the world's oldest games, chess is classified as a board game, but is more like a mental sport, and is actually a massive example of the Dunning-Kruger effect. No matter how good you are at the game, you still suck, even the greatest players know they suck, and if you think you are good, you most DEFINITELY suck. All chess tournaments are competitions of who sucks least, everybody sucks to some degree, unless your name is Magnus Carlsen, and even he sucks next to a computer. It is believed (though not proven) that a perfectly-played game of chess will always end in a draw, and when someone wins, it is always because the other person fucked up.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
Most people, due to pop-cultural osmosis, know the basic rules of chess, but know nothing about how to actually play the game. This frequently results in people who have a modicum of skill thinking they are "good at chess" because they've only ever played "regular" people, then when they try playing against actual chess players, they're in for a rude awakening.
If you get into chess as an adult, you will discover that 8-year-olds regularly whup your ass forwards, backwards, and sideways at the game every single time, but at least you can go home knowing that you have had sex, and they have not (though, this is also questionable if you are a chess player).
Despite the growing popularity of chess since COVID, and recent attempts to reach out to women, any given night at a chess club is almost guaranteed to be a sausage party.
I play chess because I hate myself.
by q359 July 25, 2023
by Holga135 October 8, 2022
Chess is kinda like saying yes but you really mean it. Or you are really happy and all you can say is CHESS!
Hot girl: do you want to go out with me
You: CHESS!!
Or
Mom: we are going to Disney land!
You:CHESS!
You: CHESS!!
Or
Mom: we are going to Disney land!
You:CHESS!
by Machinemma5 September 3, 2017
A “sport” which became largely popular in recent times because all of the popular kids in school started playing it.
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends.
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends.
Friend: Let’s go! I just destroyed this noob!
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: Never talk to me again, you wet wipe.
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: Never talk to me again, you wet wipe.
by Fr*nch Weirdo 69 May 15, 2023
A “sport” which became largely popular in recent times because all of the popular kids in school started playing it.
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends
An excuse for the wettest wet wipes out there to make friends
Friend: Let’s go! I just destroyed this noob!
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: You wet wipe.
Me: Nice. What game was it?
Friend: Oh, it was chess.
Me: You wet wipe.
by Fr*nch Weirdo 69 May 15, 2023
a game where 2 kingdoms fight each other while being figures
pawn being the seemingly useless but has tricks up its sleeves
knight being the coolest, winning by taking L's
bishop go diagonal
rook be going straight and sideways
queen being everything except for knight, its too cool to take L's
king being the fucking crybaby that needs protection and somehow s the most significant one on the board
checkmate, castling, you get the idea
do the funny botez gambit for cool
pawn being the seemingly useless but has tricks up its sleeves
knight being the coolest, winning by taking L's
bishop go diagonal
rook be going straight and sideways
queen being everything except for knight, its too cool to take L's
king being the fucking crybaby that needs protection and somehow s the most significant one on the board
checkmate, castling, you get the idea
do the funny botez gambit for cool
"chess"
"chess"
"chess"
by Cloudy_yduolC April 22, 2022