Captain Tom

the act of placing one's penis upon the back of another, preferably while recipient is sleeping

"I was just taking a nap during the dinner break of the 15k event when I awoke to find a creepy old man giving me a Captain Tom. How sick is that???"

Captain Tom by the mysterious O December 11, 2008

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Captain Tom

When you can’t quite push out the Alabama hot pocket to your girl like an old man who fits knighted for walking

I tired to Alabama the Mrs last night but captain Tom got in the mix

Captain Tom by Windsor Disgruntled May 27, 2020

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Captain Tommed

Being fooled by a money grab disguised as a charitable cause. Usually by unscrupulous thieves in denial about their actions.

I donated to that charity the other day but it turns out my money went towards paying someone's daughter a salary for buying new shoes!

I was utterly Captain Tommed!

Captain Tommed by Professor Robin Hood November 28, 2024

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cornholio

Ruler of Lake Titicaca. Rumored to have a bunghole that gets very angry if it does not receive toilet paper. Cornholio the Great is often seen walking around with his shirt over his head and his hands in the air, chanting songs about his power, and his bunghole.

"I am Cornholio! You do not want to face the wrath of my bunghole, for I need TP!"
Butthead: Shut up, Beavis! (uh huh huh huh)
Beavis: Um, okay. (heh heh heh heh).

cornholio by AYB July 20, 2003

Word of the Day on July 9, 2026