-Driving down to Encino, I am not going to another stupid Calabasas party.
What is up with that girl?
-Oh, she's just from Calabasas High School.
God those kids think their so "indie" but there just annoying as fuck, who are they?
-Eh, just some Calabasas High School kids who had the money to pay for Coachella tickets and not know any of the bands.
The girls? More like, evil demon monster creatures. Oftentimes, their undergarments are more visible than their intelligence. And if the topic of discussion does not involve True Religion jeans, Malibu rum, or which boy has the largest schlong out of the 10 you hooked up with the other night, then it's not important.
The boys? Absolutely despicable in every sense of the word. They have no idea how to treat girls right; their hormones are raging and hence they feel the necessity to hurt as many girls as possible emotionally. I guess you can say many of the slutty Calabasas chicks bring it on themselves, but really, that's not much of an excuse. If you want to spend your days surrounded by boys who spend more time on their appearance than the girls do, then this is the perfect school for you! Some of the guys (and girls, too) at this school may be good looking, but really, since when do good looks compensate for superficiality, shallowness, and bitchiness?
The teachers? HAHA! What teachers? Some of the rudest and most inconsiderate people I have ever met in my life. They always put themselves before their students and enjoy watching the pain and agony their students must endure on a daily basis. Not to mention, I simply cannot fathom WHY half of them are making a living off of being absolutely horrible at what they do- teaching.
The sports? Double HAHA! Thanks to the excessive amounts of alcohol and marijuana and God knows what else residing in the bodies of these student "athletes", we might as well just forgo athletics altogether. Our football team wins 1 game each season (and that's just recently after a 4 season drought), our volleyball team is a pathetic joke, our soccer team should really learn how to kick a ball (FUNDAMENTALS!), and our wrestling team is too horny to focus on wrestling other men.
Many people say that the white-and-grey brick buildings of CHS resemble a prison or insane asylum, and this analogy couldn't be anymore accurate. Because that's exactly what Calabasas High School is... Prison, but with crazy people, too.
Former CHS Student - haha......fag.
A beautiful place, that is manifested in the campus' aesthetics, with its dreary grey-and-white masonry, gum-spattered floors, puke-colored walls, and the delicious smell of greasy french fries that radiate from the cafeteria every lunch period.
The students here are so nice. And when they need some extra help on an exam, that's when they are at their sweetest. You will be showered with words praising your beauty, knowledge, and talent from people who genuinely love and care about you. People consider staying in on a Friday night and masturbating to be fun. Drinking and drugs are never a problem. The few drug users are shunned accordingly.
We have some of the best sports teams in California. No, actually, the USA. Have you seen our football team? Every player is on the fast-track to NCAA D-1 football, and then the NFL. Yeah, they're THAT good. Our student-athletes are so dedicated that we are reigning Marmonte League champions in every single sport, and fellow teams cower at our prowess, poise, and skill.
Our teachers are incredible. They care about each and every one of their students, so much that they have no problem giving you an A in a class when you really deserve a C.
We also have a supermodel named Cathy who patrols the campus. Seriously, it just doesn't get any better than this. Come to CHS. You'll love it.