Usually, a bass clarinet player is a misunderstood, but very useful instrument in a band. Higher than a bari sax, but lower than a tenor sax, the bass clarinet player is the median in a low reed section. Not too high, not too low.
Band Director 1:We need more bari.
Bd 2:We need more tenor.
Bd 3:Nah, both would be over-kill. We need something in between.
Bd 1:We could add some bass clarinets player...
All:YES!

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Our tubas suck, so what do we do? Add more bass clarinets.

-Bass Clarinet Player explanation of what happens to tubas that suck
by Phantom034` September 22, 2008
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The most smiley person in the band, always willing to help.
Person: Hey could you help me move the Bass Drum?
Bass Clarinet Player: No problem!!
by 1st Chair December 27, 2010
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"This bass instrument of the Clarinet family is usually played by people who suck on regular Clarinet and therefore also naturally suck on Bass Clarinet. No one can ever hear them so who cares if they play? Usually mess up the simplest of things such as whole notes especially when they are exposed. Along with the Alto Clarinet it is often used by good clarinet players to get into District, State, and other Various Honor Bands. Some are whiney and complain that they can't march but it dosen't matter becasue they don't know how to play anyways. Rarley a Bari Sax player will have to doubble on Bass Clarinet for Jazz band."
"Hey! The concert was great even though the onlything I could hear from the Bass Clarinets were their Squeakes."
by Teth Bedrows June 3, 2009
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Usually a player of the bass clarinet which is just like a regular clarinet but lower. Might be friends with the alto saxophone player and may cause unneeded drama in band.
A bass clarinet player that finds the need to date all saxophone players of her class
by alskj November 3, 2007
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Football player 1: what instrument is that?
Football player 2: I think it’s a saxophone...
Drum major: *throws baton* NOT a SaXiPhOnE!

Me: Bass Clarinet!
Football player 1: what the heak is that?
by Emmadilemma1305 March 21, 2019
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THE WEIRDEST FUCKING INSTRUMENT TO PLAY! Often slobbered on by people who deep throaght the instrument while looking insane
"hey your bass clarinet is too far down your throat!"
by trfygubhjknlm May 9, 2019
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