A city in inland California, where kids bitch constantly about how boring it is, where in reality its actually kinda fun, there is plenty of beer and Nice places to chill besides the Valley Plaza, although there isn't much to do for free there is a river that runs through the town that people go to in the summertime and there are concerts almost every day somewhere and contrary to popular belief they don't all take place at that dump Jerry's Pizza. There are amphitheater's at CSUB the city's state university and in the southwest part of town sponsored by Brighthouse Networks, a local cable company.
also there is Rabobank arena where there are concerts of somekind almost monthly. when the circus or the fair aren't in town you can always just do what everyone else at any other town does you can hit up the strip clubs and the hooka lounges or bars like B Ryders or The Elixir. Or go to parties that happen almost daily in any given part of town including the East side, the truth is you can make friends with just about anyone as long as you don't say anything insulting and bring your own beer.
Bakersfield was rated the 10th drunkest city in america, more drunk per capita than las vegas. there is also an abundance of marijuana (and if you go into oildaile, meth) but in reality there is plenty to do if your not up your own ass.
also there is Rabobank arena where there are concerts of somekind almost monthly. when the circus or the fair aren't in town you can always just do what everyone else at any other town does you can hit up the strip clubs and the hooka lounges or bars like B Ryders or The Elixir. Or go to parties that happen almost daily in any given part of town including the East side, the truth is you can make friends with just about anyone as long as you don't say anything insulting and bring your own beer.
Bakersfield was rated the 10th drunkest city in america, more drunk per capita than las vegas. there is also an abundance of marijuana (and if you go into oildaile, meth) but in reality there is plenty to do if your not up your own ass.
Stupid asshole: Man Bakersfield Is fucking lame!!!! this place sucks ass why am I stuck here and there's nothing to do!!!
Not asshole: Get your head out your ass, make friends, and Party or smoke some of the weed that's growing in the front yard, or go to college and make something of yourself you can do all that here you little prick
Not asshole: Get your head out your ass, make friends, and Party or smoke some of the weed that's growing in the front yard, or go to college and make something of yourself you can do all that here you little prick
by BakoIsDope August 30, 2011
by Antonio March 20, 2004
The land Bakersfield occupies used to be a barren, desert-like field. It is known for its agriculture, the Crystal Palace (gross country music hall), Buck Owens (gross country singer), home of the shitty rock band KORN, and oil pumps that litter various areas of town.
With a population of nearly a half million, it is the third largest inland city in California. God knows why, it's a pretty horrible place, with summer (late May-mid October) temperatures averaging in the high 90s and air quality that can practically disable you. Winter is short and usually doesn't get colder than 50 degrees in the daytime.
Methamphetamine is as easily found as a soda machine and getting drunk at parties in the middle of fields is a common Friday night activity.
Housing used to be dirt-cheap, but as of recently it's increased drastically. Statistics show that every single day 10 people from Los Angeles move into Bakersfield.
Ridiculously, there is only one real shopping mall {Valley Plaza} so at any given time it is too crowded to take a breath.
Much of the population are Mexicans that hop the border and invade town then clog the streets protesting their "deserved rights" when they are not even citizens.
Areas of town are sort of defined by the high schools: South High (southside), East High (eastside) don't walk the streets at night because you WILL get stabbed, North High (north) A.K.A. Oildale- which isn't a city in itself, just a name for the trailer park/white trash part of town, West High (west) if you want to get shot, mind your own business in any Taco Bell in the area, Ridgeview out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Then there are the snobby, rich schools around the Northwest/Southwest part of the city such as Centennial High, Liberty High, and Stockdale High. Liberty is home to the hottest, most shallow kids in the whole city. If you're not good-looking, you're invisible.
Friday night football games rule many kids' lives. If you're not a jock, then you're going to be pretty fucking bored and will resort to devoting your life to the "hXc!" music scene. (Scene kids in Bakersfield are known to be pretentious jerks.) You will spend your every waking moment in the sweaty, roach-infested basement of Jerry's Pizza watching shitty bands lose their voices.
With a population of nearly a half million, it is the third largest inland city in California. God knows why, it's a pretty horrible place, with summer (late May-mid October) temperatures averaging in the high 90s and air quality that can practically disable you. Winter is short and usually doesn't get colder than 50 degrees in the daytime.
Methamphetamine is as easily found as a soda machine and getting drunk at parties in the middle of fields is a common Friday night activity.
Housing used to be dirt-cheap, but as of recently it's increased drastically. Statistics show that every single day 10 people from Los Angeles move into Bakersfield.
Ridiculously, there is only one real shopping mall {Valley Plaza} so at any given time it is too crowded to take a breath.
Much of the population are Mexicans that hop the border and invade town then clog the streets protesting their "deserved rights" when they are not even citizens.
Areas of town are sort of defined by the high schools: South High (southside), East High (eastside) don't walk the streets at night because you WILL get stabbed, North High (north) A.K.A. Oildale- which isn't a city in itself, just a name for the trailer park/white trash part of town, West High (west) if you want to get shot, mind your own business in any Taco Bell in the area, Ridgeview out in the middle of fucking nowhere. Then there are the snobby, rich schools around the Northwest/Southwest part of the city such as Centennial High, Liberty High, and Stockdale High. Liberty is home to the hottest, most shallow kids in the whole city. If you're not good-looking, you're invisible.
Friday night football games rule many kids' lives. If you're not a jock, then you're going to be pretty fucking bored and will resort to devoting your life to the "hXc!" music scene. (Scene kids in Bakersfield are known to be pretentious jerks.) You will spend your every waking moment in the sweaty, roach-infested basement of Jerry's Pizza watching shitty bands lose their voices.
The Bakersfield summer has started.. Looks like we won't be stepping foot outside for the next five months. Bring me a bud light and a pack of Camels!
kid 1 "Do you know where I can score some dope in Bakersfield?"
kid 2 "Dude, just stand at a corner and someone will come up to you and ask you to buy."
kid 1 "You're going to the Valley Plaza mall in Bakersfield?? Don't you know there was a shooting there a month ago?"
kid 2 "Yeah, there's not really any other choice. I'm bored as hell and there is no other fucking mall in the entire city."
kid 1 "Do you know where I can score some dope in Bakersfield?"
kid 2 "Dude, just stand at a corner and someone will come up to you and ask you to buy."
kid 1 "You're going to the Valley Plaza mall in Bakersfield?? Don't you know there was a shooting there a month ago?"
kid 2 "Yeah, there's not really any other choice. I'm bored as hell and there is no other fucking mall in the entire city."
by knifeaudition May 26, 2006
The CA city also known as "Bako"
(or better spelled "Bake-o")
in reference to its typically hot temperatures, the proximity to producing oil fields (which is an in-joke for oil barons), and the predictable uber-presence of barbecue, bacon bits, and Mexican food, often served up to country-western and/or mariachi-norteno music.
While visiting Bako, try "the tri" -- which is localspeak for tri-tip, a beef cut that is (of course) barbecued.
(or better spelled "Bake-o")
in reference to its typically hot temperatures, the proximity to producing oil fields (which is an in-joke for oil barons), and the predictable uber-presence of barbecue, bacon bits, and Mexican food, often served up to country-western and/or mariachi-norteno music.
While visiting Bako, try "the tri" -- which is localspeak for tri-tip, a beef cut that is (of course) barbecued.
by Chabooi July 25, 2006
An awesome town but rather boring. The best attraction is the Kern County Fair and it has one of the worst air qualities in the USA. It is also the 4th driest city in the US. (Yes, even drier than Ridgecrest.) Also has a killer river that has been dry for a year now.
Stacy: I have lived in Bakersfield my whole life and its has gotten rather boring. Sigh... I wish the river would come back.
by Will Forest February 13, 2009
Person 1: So where are you from?
Person 2: Oh i'm from Bakersfield
Person 1: Oh hell nah fuck that place
Person 2: Oh i'm from Bakersfield
Person 1: Oh hell nah fuck that place
by Fl0rb November 19, 2019
Why trust air you can't see? The unbearable heat during the day adds to deliquency society as people prefer midnight outings and cow-tipping. From gang members to cowboys you will see a variety of "culture" The armpit of California is home to cheap living, suburbia mixed with random farms, and drastically changing geographics every year, as (for some reason) people keep moving there.
by Courtney April 17, 2005