A book saying That Earth was created in 7 days,while the other 'mayority' of universe was created in one day...with moon as not part of it
Than there was a man,god took half of a rib to create a woman,they ate an apple(not mac,fruit) and was gone to earth(guess they were at heaven)
It says that that happens 5000 year ago,when universe was created?
Then people were arguing about it and declaring wars,THE BIG HOLY REASON of spanish inquistion,more wars(usually about followers of it and followers of other fairytales),even more wars,and when something terrible happens followers just say:GODS WILL...so we didnt evolve,we revolve...Nice book
ALSO followers are called christians(a big world wide cult),cuz of a man jesus CHRIST who wanted to be nice,and was hooked on a cross,but they had to redo it by saying he became alive again,and was holy,and not just a good man...
also look church,a big business who make people give them money cuz of that book,with their leader pope
'BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT'
'BECAUSE BIBLE SAYS SO'
'WHY BELIEVE BIBLE'
'CUZ-BIBLE IS A WORD OF GOD'
Then later, God gets uber pissed about Pharaoh Hitler pwning the jews, so he gives Moses some cheat codes for the universe. Moses stages a mass slave runaway and opens up the sea so the Jews can run through, closing it behind him and drowning the ancient Nazis; God Lol'd.
Some other less important shit happens, mostly composed of a bunch of faggots writing emo poetry about god for him to fap to.
New Testament: God finds Mary sleeping and just sticks the tip in and drops his load. Nine months later Jesus is born. For his 13th birthday God gave Jesus more cheat codes than he gave Moses, plus the rcon password for life, and some CP.
Later, Jesus became a hard core ska punk and trolled the old school jews hard. They got super pissed and permabanned him with a cross and some nine inch nails. They forgot he had god mode turned on though, so he waited 3 days and hit vid_restart on the rcon panel, came back into life's server, and laughed at the Jews.
After that, 3 more guys tell the same story, then this faggot Paul wrote an assload of shit about sex being evil and a bunch of other stuff that Jesus never fucking said but everybody listened to Paul anyway because they're stupid.
- By Noah McHugh
"The priest read the bible alone with the children. He must be a good guy and not a pedophile"
God made, Adam bit, Noah arked, Abraham split, Joseph ruled, Jacob fooled,Bush talked, Moses balked, Pharaoh plagued, people walked, sea divided, tablets guided, Promise landed, Saul freaked, David peeked, prophets warned, Jesus born, God walked, love talked, anger crucified, hope died, Love rose, Spirit flamed, Word spread, God remained.
- A dictionary.