The mathematical function that describes how you can’t really get all of the shit off your asshole by wiping. It is asymptotic and tends towards 0 as a function of number of wipes, but never quite gets there.
With a bidet, it’s actually possible to clean your asshole completely. Wiping just follows the asshole asymptote.
by weyus November 10, 2022
When your download speed steadily decreases as you near the completion of the download, such that your download will get infinitely close to finishing, but never actually finish.
The program said it'd take about 3 minutes to finish, but thanks to download asymptote it ended up taking 3 hours.
by solargambler March 16, 2013
Refers to being in quarantine or self-isolation for an indefinite period of time, and the resulting paranoia and pessimism. Similar to a "Debbie Downer", "Negative Nancy", etc.
Person one: "Is this gonna be forever?"
Person two: "Oh, hush. Quit being such an asymptomatic asymptote."
Person two: "Oh, hush. Quit being such an asymptomatic asymptote."
by qfwfqsnmcvr May 12, 2020
Pre-AP Algebra 2 Teacher: Today we are going to learn about asymptotes.
Class Clown: Can't we listen to some bad asymptote music instead?
Two years later...
AP Calculus Teacher: Today we are covering differentiability. Corners, cusps and breaks are not differentiable.
Student #1: What is she talking about?
Student #2: I don't know. Who cares?
Student #3: Hey, did y'all hear about the bad ass fight in the cafeteria?
Calculus Teacher: Student #3, I did hear about the bad asymptote fight, but if you want to pass the AP Calculus Test so that you don't have to take Calculus in college, I suggest we focus on the fact that corners, cusps, and breaks are not differentiable. And yes, breaks can be asymptotes or holes.
Here's a fun way to remember what a break is: A BREAK-up in a romantic relationship is usually due to a partner being an ASS-ymptote. Use your imaginations with the word HOLES...
Class Clown: Can't we listen to some bad asymptote music instead?
Two years later...
AP Calculus Teacher: Today we are covering differentiability. Corners, cusps and breaks are not differentiable.
Student #1: What is she talking about?
Student #2: I don't know. Who cares?
Student #3: Hey, did y'all hear about the bad ass fight in the cafeteria?
Calculus Teacher: Student #3, I did hear about the bad asymptote fight, but if you want to pass the AP Calculus Test so that you don't have to take Calculus in college, I suggest we focus on the fact that corners, cusps, and breaks are not differentiable. And yes, breaks can be asymptotes or holes.
Here's a fun way to remember what a break is: A BREAK-up in a romantic relationship is usually due to a partner being an ASS-ymptote. Use your imaginations with the word HOLES...
by faithyeni June 1, 2011
The art of hitting an almost empty dab cart and mentally willing it to never reach a level of zero, no matter how empty it looks.
by therealtarzan January 10, 2021
When you have a greater stats in the least important category then you do for the most important category within a videogame.
When this is achieved, you have achieved the Gaming Asymptote.
When this is achieved, you have achieved the Gaming Asymptote.
Isaac: For fucks sake my luck stats is greater than my damage stats.
Me: yep, welcome to the fucking Gaming Asymptote.
Me: yep, welcome to the fucking Gaming Asymptote.
by sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssa June 16, 2020