Alfonzo is sometimes dumb but very funny. He is one of the best friends you’ll ever have. Not a lot of people like him but the people that do are sometimes afraid of telling him in fear he will tell his other friends. You should not use him or lose him and do not lie to him. He knows when someone is lying and can sense a liar. He is very protective of his friends and girlfriend/boyfriend. If you lien him you should date him and don’t be shy.
Ryan: yo, wassup zo

Alfonzo: wassup *makes a funny joke*

Everyone around: *starts laughing hysterically*
by User4568912 October 30, 2019
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A noun used to describe an average Hispanic male. So basically a Hispanic “NPC”. It’s 2023’s version of calling someone an “Edgar”. Their often seen rocking the Alfonzo bowl cut, true religion jeans, and white Air Force ones. Alfonzo’s are the light-skins of Hispanic people. In every picture their seen sucking in their cheeks to emphasize their jawline. Nobody likes Alfonso’s, they also have L rizz.
*Walks into a Miami nightclub*: Damn bro, there’s so many Alfonso’s in here. They tryna rizz up all the treeshes.

*Sees a Hispanic light-skin tryna rizz up*: Hahahahah yoo bro look at that Alfonzo ass nigga *crying emoji*.
by For the community 1738 January 25, 2023
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To rub and relieve sore genitalia.
Man I pulled a muscle in my groin at practice, I could use an alfonzo.
by Jalapeno De Aweschomeness January 19, 2009
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Alfonzo is a piece of shit, who has a small dick. He pissed on Gru, and resembles Fagnus in behaviour. He hurt Jessicah's feelings, and now everyone wants him to commit penis vacuum.
"Bruv, you seen Alfonzo lately? He stole my vacuum."
"Yeah bruv, he used it on himself, that's why he's absent."
"Fuckin' lobotomite."
by GmodMagician April 13, 2020
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to worship carlton banks from the fresh prince of bel-air;It's not unusual to be Carlton in any way
That short black guy is the head of the church of alfonzoism
by urdu August 18, 2007
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1.a person who lacks the ability to have a meaningful conversation or an intellectual conversation and often makes inappropriate jokes and is usually perverted and not very mature.

2.a very stupid person

3.a word that can be used to describe anything or anyone with any meaning you want just keep the meaning to yourself so they will be confused and not know what you mean.
1.dude your a total alfonzo

2.man you know that new kid he was a total alfonzo.
by lucky_louie May 21, 2009
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The person i love the most. Alfonzo is the sweetest and a cutest person you will meet. He have this very dark hair, a fluffy cheeks. Dark brown eyes. Hes very caringHes soft and sensitive but will do anything to protect his family and friends. Hes smart and good at observing. Quite yet dangerous. He has a great personality, he also shy for the most part. Hes a great friend and a great partner
you sound like you need a "alfonzo (aka tuks) on your life
by Hubeabear June 9, 2021
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