Situational Absence

Term used by employers for employee absences or tardiness when the employee never discusses what the actual reason is. The term ‘situation’ is the only reason given by them employee. This typically occurs in lower pay grade manual labor jobs where the employees a generally unreliable anyway.

Boss man: Hey, Marcus! How come you didn’t show for work yesterday?

Marcus: Man Boss, I had that situation to take care of! I couldn’t come in.

Boss man: What fucken situation!? You better not pull that shit again or your ass is outta here.

Marcus: I can’t help it boss. I was on my situation. I had to take care of that shit.

Boss man: Bullshit. You were either to hung over or still high from the night before. That’s the situation. One more situational absence and you’re fired! Got that!

Marcus: Man… that bullshit. I can’t help all these mother fuckers always puttin me in these situations.

by Jackthesnipper9512365 January 26, 2012

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gamer absence

When your entire family is eating dinner but you spend too much time online to get out of your room and eat with them so your chair is empty

When you sit for so long your meat goes numb, we call it gamer absence.

by The Chungus February 3, 2020

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absence of shower syndrome

A disease usually refering to a person who smells like a skunked beer, combined with body odor, fishy pubic hair, and dried anal seapage displaying a general lack of hygiene that would otherwise make a radius of 25 feet from the person inpalatable.

Bob the Hobo + Your Mom + Your Nasty French Teacher + Britney Spears= A.S.S.

Man you smell like ass
I know I have Absence of Shower syndrome

by krikeymynipple April 8, 2010

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absence of mustache

an amazing band located in salem, oregon. it features three members Abby Miss Road, Marvin Phelps, and Humphrey Mus. this band performs all original songs, or original arrangements of somngs like the alphabet. some of their song title include "ireland", "let's all dance", and "hush lullaby". the band sometimes features accomplices in their awesome songs. some of their catchiest lyrics include...
person 1: "what time is it?"
person 2: "it's dancing time!"
person 1: you'd better check your pocket watch."
person 2: "oh no!"

and
(person 1 is up at 2 a.m. watching the television)
person 2: "this is your hush lullaby, speak not soft lips."

they are sort of the essence of awesome.

Human Being: wow, i just heard this band. they sang some songs.
Human Being, Other: oh, i know who you are talking about. absence of mustache, right?
Human Being: fosh.

by humphreymus April 20, 2009

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relationship-absence syndrome

Relationship-Absence Syndrome (also known as RAS)

1. Instance in which everyone around you is in a relationship and you are single.

2. Instance in which you are in a relationship and everyone around you is single

Person A: "Dude, everyone else is going out on dates."

Person B: "It's relationship-absence syndrome, man. Get over it."

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Person A: "No one else wants to go on a date with me and my girl!"

Person B: "Everyone else is suffering from relationship-absence syndrome..."

by Olive Nick March 31, 2011

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