5LINX is a corporation, created in the early 2000's, whose chief export is despair. They have formed a business model by which willing participants donate $500, along with their hopes and dreams, and are given a steaming pile of desolation in return. Often, investors will be encouraged to purchase other products as well, including unreliable phone service and 5LINX paraphernalia; it is unclear if this enhances their enjoyment of the destruction of their lives. See also: pyramid scheme.
5LINX's Creation: Craig: "Hey Jeb, think we could start a company where people give us money in exchange for the extremely distant and unlikely shot at mild success?" Jeb: "It's worth a shot!"