Someone with many enemies but it's okay because he's short. He is addicted to energy drinks that straight up taste like liquid candy, so much so that he may be going blind. He is a good friend...sometimes, and is terrible with human emotions. In short, a neurotic caffeine addict with a 20 inch cock. He will make anybody laugh sometimes.
Wow! Ivan sure has a human cock!
Ivan, How many fingers am I holding up?
I got railed by Ivan's human cock and am now hospitalized.
Ivan, How many fingers am I holding up?
I got railed by Ivan's human cock and am now hospitalized.
by azarockclimb May 9, 2023
Ivan is the smartest, funniest, most attractive human being on the planet. Every second you are with him is pure joy and your heart starts racing when you’re around him. His warm embrace is all you need when you’re in a bad mood. Under his humorous exterior, Ivan is loyal and kind, and will never let you go. Just as he is not letting me go now. I dont have a lot of time he is coming. I dont think my jaw is attached to my body anymore. It hurts so much why did i talk to that girl i was just asking her for a new pencil Please help me Im running out of air and im scared my i!snns dnd c n!!!,,’xnxmx
Girl 1: Wow, isn’t Ivan such a cutie?
Girl 2: Yes, he is! And I bet he hopes you don’t tell anybody about what you have just seen.
Girl 2: Yes, he is! And I bet he hopes you don’t tell anybody about what you have just seen.
by Non-criminal November 23, 2021
The basic russian. the biggest piece of dog meat to ever exist. Large consumer of vodka and heavily abused at home. Struggles in public due to lack of social skills and overall is an easy target to bully. You do not want to be around an Ivan because they tend to get an impulse need of dick in the ass. Is in heavy debt and can't seem to go a day without crying. Dont be an Ivan. Fruity.
by urnotfunnygoat October 4, 2022
by kingcatniko June 12, 2020
by Xold December 18, 2016
ivan is one of the beautiful person u can ever meet. unforgettable and with an unique sense of humor. u can lough and forget all your problems with them.
he can talk about his problems because he thinks that other people don't care about him. but he will listen to your throughs all day and all night. he can be such an asshole but only if u let him, it's his way to show that he loves u.
he's cute, intelligent, kind, beautiful and very hot. he has the most beautiful eyes in the world and he knows.
don't give up on him and your relationship, it can always be better, give it time. if u fall in love with ivan u are fucked up, he don't go out of your mind easily.
love him and protect him. show him all your love, he's the most beautiful soul in the world. <3
he can talk about his problems because he thinks that other people don't care about him. but he will listen to your throughs all day and all night. he can be such an asshole but only if u let him, it's his way to show that he loves u.
he's cute, intelligent, kind, beautiful and very hot. he has the most beautiful eyes in the world and he knows.
don't give up on him and your relationship, it can always be better, give it time. if u fall in love with ivan u are fucked up, he don't go out of your mind easily.
love him and protect him. show him all your love, he's the most beautiful soul in the world. <3
by redchesterfield November 22, 2021
A Ivan is a person, who, unlike the Lukas or Bjørn (see their definition), is beyond the nature of all things. The word "God" (or Iehova) was previously created to attempt and capture the indefinitive awesomeness of the Ivan, but so far attempts have been unsuccesful. A Ivan is ALL!
by Ehrenmann March 18, 2020