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alphabetical alternatives

An A-Z list of "non-standard" objects or activities:
AWLternative: A different tool/method for line-scribing and hole-piercing.

BALLternative: Something other than a "bouncy sphere" for kids to play with.
BAWLternative: Doing something besides loud tearful carrying-on.
CALLternative: Any socializing-activity other than a teenage-girl's typical favorite.
CAWlternative: Yes, crows are indeed handsome and smart, but let's look at some other feathered friends, as well.
DOLLternative: A less gender-based toy for young girls.
EALternative: Teaching something other than English as a "second language".

FALLternative: Anything besides tumbling outta da Ugly Tree.
GALLternative: (1) An attitude other than temerity. (2) Less-destructive methods to avoid surface-abrasion damage.
HALLternative: Architecture not employing passageways.
IAlternative: A designation other than feminine.
JAWlternative: Anything besides flappin' yer gums, so dat others can have a little peace and quiet!
LAWlternative: When Steve Lehto speaks about a non-legal topic on YouTube.
MAlternative: Handing a problem yourself and instead of always just yelling for your mummy.
MAWlternative: Any activity dat avoids getting near da powerful chompers of a greedy/voracious animal.
NAWlternative: Any response other than just a flat "negatory".
OAlternative: A different treatment-approach to food-binging besides boring weekly meetings.
PALLternative: Cremation or other burial-procedure not involving a coffin.
More examples of alphabetical alternatives:
PAULternative: Anything not involving everyone's favorite giant lumberjack.
PAWlternative: (1) Anything dat doesn't involve an animal's furry foot. (2) Problem-solving on your own, without always yelling for yer Daddy.
QUAlternative: Any topic not referring to "in the capacity or character of".
RAWlternative: Zheesh, you back-to-nature hippie-freak --- have a little cooked food once in a while!
SAULternative: Seeking da judgement/wisdom of someone other than a tempestuous spear-thrower.
SAWlternative: Letting a tree remain standing.
TALLternative: Consulting a short-to-medium-height person.
UAlternative: Approaching a film-studio other than da MGM-owned giant.
VAULTernative: What da bad guys in da 1971 caper-film "Dollars" should have utilized for storing their ill-gotten loot.
WALLternative: What "Da Donald" should have sought much earlier than now for excluding illegal Mexican immigrants.
WALTERnative: What Achmed should seek for advice/fellowship, since said crabby ol' fart scares da crap outta him.
XAlternative" Pertaining to something other than finance or da stock market.
YAlternative: Anything other than a straight-positive response.
YAWlternative: Movement other than directional-rotation, such as pitch and roll.
YAWLternative: Any wind-driven boat other than da dainty "triangle-shaped sail array" design.
ZAlternative: Any culinary section other than da classic disk-shaped Italian flatbread.
by QuacksO March 17, 2020
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alphabetical opportunities

bopportunity: A chance to clonk someone's noggin.
copportunity: An occasion when you can dial 9-1-1.
fopportunity: An area or event where you can dress up excessively or outlandishly.
GOPportunity: A time when you can openly flaunt your Republican viewpoints.
hopportunity: A safe/acceptable location to do jumping-jacks and leapfrogging.
lopportunity: When you notice that your ornamentals are getting too bushy and/or scraggly.
mopportunity: A chance to try out your new Swiffer.
popportunity: When you come across a discarded sheet of bubble-wrap.
sopportunity: An occasion where you can either easily/inexpensively appease someone, or absorb a liquid with a sponge.
topportunity: A chance to "do somebody one better" in a contest or impromptu session of friendly verbal sparring.
wopportunity: A time when you can make derogatory remarks about Italians.
Alphabetical opportunities may be fun to think about, but most of them seem largely pointless to perform in real life.
by QuacksO July 13, 2020
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Alphabetation

Apple's method of categorizing and sorting of music
I hooked up my iPod to my Mac and iTune's alphabetation reorganized my shit
by Threatcoil January 10, 2018
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alphabet test

To try recite the alphabet while getting good sloppy top. If you make to z she's trash
This girl sucked my dick so good I could barely say my ABC's , I deadass failed the "alphabet test" that night
by Big Mikkee March 20, 2017
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alphabetical anecdotes

Assorted "A-to-Z" bu**s**t tales supposedly relating past events, such as:
banecdotes: When you got shown da door fer misbehavin'
branecdotes: What da Scarecrow's thinking-organ was composed of
canecdotes: How da clutter of empty food-containers came to exist
clanecdotes: Where yer group of weird-a** "loyal followers" came from
fanecdotes: Same as above, only said dedicated admirers are now also swishing themselves wif pleated-paper breeze-makers :P
Franecdotes: How Miss Fine shocked and/or amused Max's family during her period as a nanny and/or Max's wife
glanecdotes: What one or more luscious-lipped chicks have done wif dat juicy head on yer you-know-what
granecdotes: Assorted goings-on during visits to "Big Ma's house"
klanecdotes: "The Five Orange Pips" and similar stories
LANecdotes: Da occasional service-blackouts and other assorted crap dat you endure regarding yer internet service
manecdotes: Assorted "cool dude" happenings
manicdotes: Various "totally hyper" goings-on
Additional examples of alphabetical anecdotes include:

nanecdotes: Same as da actress-Drescher-related definition above
panecdotes: Da assorted tough-sailor-clunking shenanigans dat Laurel and Hardy performed outside da saloon in "Live Ghost"
panicdotes: Da assorted terrified emotions dat said comic duo suffered when said swarthy brutes discovered dat they had been shanghaied
planecdotes: Various "here's what we're gonna do today" tales
ranecdotes: What happened during either Boston Marathons or horse-races
scanecdotes: Yer antivirus-software adventures
spanecdotes: Various gap-bridging events
Stanecdotes: Laurel's adventure-tales dat he later tells to Hardy
swanecdotes: Related In Louie Da Trumpeter's book
tanecdotes: Adventures in da sun
tranecdotes: What ya read about in an LGBTQ newsletter
vanicdotes: Hippie-movement adventures while tootling around da country in an old VW bus
wanicdotes: "Back when I was a scrawny weakling" stories dat a hard-muscled health-guru relates to his audience
by QuacksO November 19, 2025
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Alphabet soup

When a person has so many abbreviated venereal diseases it easier to say they have alphabet soup (ie hpv tricc hiv aids ash)
I'd hate to catch the alphabet soup she's giving to all the guys without them knowing
by Captain saveahoe. August 30, 2023
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yacking the alphabet off

To talk incessantly! Blow one’s phone up.
Look at that poor guy over at the bar, that girl is yacking the alphabet off. Yeh he can’t get a word in.

I am so sorry I was yacking the alphabet off yesterday. I will refrain from blowing your phone up
by Yetilove August 24, 2021
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