ASAP 

As soon as anyone gives a damn (with a silent 'p')

Vickie asked that the manual go online ASAP.

After a good round of gossip, a cup of coffee and the requisite delay, the Tech Writer, to the relief of the mechanics, placed the manual online.

ASAP by IntlHotMale September 14, 2009

ASAP 

As Slow As Possible

The word is used when in a tight situation that needs an acronym to express that "hey, you can lag all the way you want".

"Sure. MMORPG is the best way to make time fly ASAP"

ASAP by SysStream October 11, 2006

ASAP 

ASAP is what an experienced cannabis smoker will tell an amateur smoker when he/she is ripping a bong. ASAP itself will stand for : As Slow As Possible, because at first when you start ripping a bong, you have to start off slow, where many inexperienced smokers pull to hard off the start and waste mass amounts of cannabis.

Carson: (starts rippin hard)

Jonny: NO MAN NO....GO ASAP...ASAP!!!!

ASAP by Tommmyyyy January 6, 2008

ASAP 

Act swiftly, awesome pachyderm

In the movie "Horton Hears a Who" Horton says ASAP stands for Act swiftly, awesome pachyderm.

A pachyderm is an elephant.

ASAP by Cattttttttttt December 19, 2009

ASAP 

As slow as posible, it is the same as, As Soon As Posible

WOW she is going asap.

ASAP by Cortnort December 9, 2008

ASAP 

As Soon As Possible

'come to mine ASAP'

ASAP by chippyrat July 21, 2018

asap 

After Sex Arousal Plan

Only 6 minutes? I need an ASAP, cuz i'm a fucking loser.

asap by Cody December 13, 2003