The ultimate lord and ruler of the universe, and the deity of the Pastafarian religion. He created the world using His Great Noodley Appendage.
No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).
The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.
Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.
His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.
Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.
Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?
He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.
For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.
R'amen.
No other monsters can be worshiped before Him (after is fine, just use protection).
The only Monster deserving of capitalization, other monsters are inferior to Him, unworthy of capitalization.
Even Christians have accepted that He has more balls than their god.
His first and most holy disciples were the pirates, who
(contrary to what the old age Christians would tell you) traveled the world and gave children candy.
Unfortunately, the number of pirates are shrinking, causing global warming and other natural disasters to rise.
Some places still have pirates, like Somalia, which has the lowest carbon emissions of any country, coincidence?
He, in His infinite wisdom, created the Eight "I'd really rather you didn't s", the holy tenets of the Pastafarian religion.
For example: "I'd really rather you didn't build multimillion-dollar synagogues / churches / temples / mosques / shrines to His Noodly Goodness when the money could be better spent ending poverty, curing diseases, living in peace, loving with passion and lowering the cost of cable."
When one dies, they will be with Him in heaven, along with a Stripper factory and a Beer Volcano.
R'amen.
On the first day, the Flying Spaghetti Monster separated the water from the heavens; on the second, because He could not tread water for long and had grown tired of flying, He created the land—complemented by a beer volcano. Satisfied, the Flying Spaghetti Monster overindulged in beer from the beer volcano and woke up hungover. Between drunken nights and clumsy afternoons, the Flying Spaghetti Monster produced seas and land (for a second time, accidentally, because he forgot that he created it the day before) along with Heaven and a midget, which he named Man. Man and an equally short woman lived happily in the Olive Garden of Eden for some time until the Flying Spaghetti Monster caused a global flood in a cooking accident.
"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson
"If you don't like us, your old religion will most likely take you back."-Bobby Henderson
by adminkiller February 22, 2011
God, Jesus and everything. The flying spaghetti monster is the most powerful being in the universe. If you pray to the flying spaghetti monster and do the secret swag dance, you will get rich, popular and sexy hair within seconds.
Retard 1: The flying spaghetti monster is hot.
Retard 2: No.
Retard 1: YOU MUST BE BURNED ALIVE ON THE HOLY BANANA STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Retard 2: No.
Retard 1: YOU MUST BE BURNED ALIVE ON THE HOLY BANANA STEAK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by RetardedGoatMan February 5, 2015
The god of the pastafarian religion. The FSM (flying spaghetti monster) is made up of a glob of spaghetti and meatballs and two noodly eye stalks. The FSM is famously known for keeping the solar system together with his noodly appendages and, of course, boiling for our sins. If you don't accept FSM into your heart you will go to hell and have to deal with stale beer and strippers with STDs.
Pastafafarian: Have you been saved by the Flying spaghetti monster?
Heathen: No, I haven't because he's not real. He is a parody god made by atheists to mock religion.
Heathen: No, I haven't because he's not real. He is a parody god made by atheists to mock religion.
by DevoutPastafarian October 12, 2018
Guy 1: Do you believe in God?
Guy 2: I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Guy 1: That is ridiculous,
Guy 2: As is "god"
Guy 2: I believe in the Flying Spaghetti Monster
Guy 1: That is ridiculous,
Guy 2: As is "god"
by Lvl 227 March 21, 2010
A pathetic attempt by Richard Dawkins to discredit the GOD of creation by making the most absurd nomenclature to which he could ascribe at the time when questioned about an alternative to the real GOD.
by ohterry April 10, 2014
His Noodliness, the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the ultimate truth in the universe. It is the central point of worship in the religion commonly known as Flying Spaghetti Monsterism or Pastafarianism, according to which it is The Creator and Overseer, watching our lives and our world, changing them as it sees fit, by use of his most holy noodly appendage.
Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student Bobby Henderson. He shall live on forever in the afterlife next to the Beer Volcano. Due to this incredible rebirth, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is now one of the world's most edible and fastest-growing religions
Incredibly, this ancient religion was not well-known until its rediscovery in 2005 by graduate student Bobby Henderson. He shall live on forever in the afterlife next to the Beer Volcano. Due to this incredible rebirth, Flying Spaghetti Monsterism is now one of the world's most edible and fastest-growing religions
by funnyfunnygal August 31, 2009
The most accurate religion in existence, although it seems that everyone gets all pissy when you tell them that you're converting to it.
You: "Hey I've decided to switch to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, which I can do because I have the freedom of religion"
Your friend: "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL THAT'S SO STUPID YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT"
Your friend: "WHAT THE FUCKING HELL THAT'S SO STUPID YOU'RE A FUCKING RETARD GO TO HELL YOU PIECE OF SHIT"
by The Only Andy Christ February 1, 2018