failing asleep

This term describes the nightly experience of those unfortunate schmucks who just absolutely cannot fucking fall asleep, no matter how much thrashing around in bed they do or how much ruminating over past mistakes they indulge in. Instead of falling asleep, an insomniac is simply failing asleep.

Alice: "Wow, you look like hell"
Bob: "<mumble> last night I was failing asleep and couldn't stop thinking about some shit from middle school when I got my bike stolen"

by channel_panel June 16, 2018

Dead Asleep

That one person who sleeps so heavily that NOTHING can wake them up. (Almost like they're dead)

Person 1: Yeah, nothing could wake you up this morning. You were dead asleep.
Person 2: Didn't you throw water on me? When I woke up I was soaked.
Person 1: As I said, you were dead asleep. You didn't move an inch when I threw water on you.

by Kuuni_ April 18, 2023

mods asleep

a term used mainly on 4chan to tell other anons that the mods are not watching, mostly used to get a link to an illegal dropbox

Mods asleep

by Mods asleep!!! April 20, 2017

asleep at the keys

To sleep during an online conversation. This can be due to the conversation taking place late at night, being really boring, and/or the person in question being tired or (more commonly) drunk.

The term can also be used when someone is being slow at responding, should you suspect that they have fallen asleep.

At 1:34 AM:

Mr A: "...so yeah, that's the end of that epic adventure story, what do you think about that?"
Mr A: "Hello?"
Mr A: "I'm totally wasting my time and effort on this conversation aren't I?"
Mr A: "YOU'RE A SHIT FRIEND!!!"

At 7:51 AM:

Dr B: "Woah, sorry man... I was totally asleep at the keys!"

by DrJonas February 15, 2010

asleep at the switch

Neglectful of an important task or responsibility

That punk is always be asleep at the switch.

by The Return of Light Joker September 22, 2009

Cardiac asleep

In a state of unconsciousness similar too or identical to that of heavy alcoholic inebriation or getting knocked out by a heavy weight boxer

Say one more thing about my mama and ima put you under cardiac asleep

by XFutureKidX March 08, 2021

Half-asleep

used as an excuse to make up for trying to not be wrong or lying.

Hey bro, you told me the gym closed at 9. It actually closes at 11.

Bro, I was half-asleep.

by ErnieMac July 15, 2016