He borrowed $1200 and moved in to my apartment and didn't pay any rent, and then broke up with me by text message, so I had to go Alanis Morissette on his ass.
"Dude, that bar called 'Flare' totally burned down over the weekend, that's so Ironic!". "No man its coincidental, you're just Alanis Morisetting all over the place now"