Identification: Guatemalan Mantises (guat mantids) are among the nastiest hood rats found in the general population. Adults range from 5 to 6 ft long, are dark, & usually brown, or yellowish (jaundice-drug or alcohol use). The females have big boobs & big front arms consisting of long jagged nails to attack sexual competition & random hoes. The male tends to be tatted, drunk & high on drugs. The vernacular/tone of this mantis consists of yelling & belligerence. Their large heads can rotate about 180 degrees & have large, bulging eyes. The term “Praying” comes from a common occurrence of vomiting on the weekends.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Lookalikes: Guat Mantids are not distinctive & can be confused with other mantids such as the Mexican & Puerto Rican variety. But the Guat genus is far more lazy, violent & volatile than it’s Mexican cousin, relating closer to its Puerto Rican relative.
Life Cycle: The Guat genus does not typically live a long life. The males succumb to gang violence, drug overdoses, & domestic abuse. The female tends to live longer than the male. It drains the lifeblood, bank accounts & credit cards of its mate slowly, & instead of decapitating it’s mate like other mantises, it’s aggressive & confrontational to the rest of the mantis population, further alienating its mate.
Habitat: Unfortunately, infestations of Guat Mantids are found throughout N. America, but you can primarily find them at terrible bars, clubs, & the streets. They lurk in the shadows waiting for prey to arrive.
Heard your friend George married a Guatemalan Praying Mantis. I hope he’s ready for a life of misery, craziness and isolation.
by bertrando1 May 23, 2023
Verb.
When one lies upside down against a wall fisting themselves in such an awkward position that they look twisted and their hand in their ass or pussy looks like a mantis claw. Plus they spring like a mantis when they cum.
When one lies upside down against a wall fisting themselves in such an awkward position that they look twisted and their hand in their ass or pussy looks like a mantis claw. Plus they spring like a mantis when they cum.
I saw my girl twisted upside down against the wall with her hand in her pussy I thought she was in trouble, but then I realized, Frankie Dee wasn't lying about the Twisted Mantis Spring
by Frankie_Dee January 13, 2014
During sexual intercourse, while having a threesome, one man (engaging in vaginal sex) puts the woman in a full nelson while the other man (or woman) pulls on the legs of the first woman, causing enormous pain to the woman's vagina.
Me, Katie and Dave tried the Chinese Crying Mantis last night. Katie was screaming her fucking head off!
by Will and jjj July 22, 2008
the act of driving with both hands on the top of the steering wheel and elbows touching the bottom, with the whole body leaning forward so that the body position looks like a praying mantis. Usually practised by the elderly/slow/otherwise driving impaired persons.
by Nom De Guerre May 1, 2007
A forbidden technique which invokes the frenzied tearing and trashing power of a mantis mid-battle. Originally performed by LenKu Amada.
by LenKu Amada May 12, 2004
OK...we all know that a female praying mantis bites the head of the male after the have sex. So a reverse praying mantis is when your wife/girlfriend bitches at you "biting your head off". Then later when she has cooled down and horny she wants to have sex.
Man my chick was bitching like crazy yesterday. Its ok though because she pulled a reverse praying mantis
by sheisducksick August 20, 2011
Troy: “did you see that praying mantis today?!”
Gertrude: “are you serious?! That was Elyse’”
A praying mantis is very long, like Elyse, the human praying mantis.
Gertrude: “are you serious?! That was Elyse’”
A praying mantis is very long, like Elyse, the human praying mantis.
by konichiwa69 November 14, 2019