Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

by Kirbo the man September 26, 2019

Humpty Bumps

A lifetime diagnosis resulting from roll in the hay with the town bicycle, your mom, Trina from down the block, etc characterized by occasional flare ups of “fun bubbles” full of disease in the nether regions - tldr- genital herpes

“Little Ron caught himself a nasty case of the humpty bumps down at your moms house and can’t get himself a dose of the Valtrex til next week- got himself more blisters than Usain Bolt on marathon Monday”

by TallulahTabasco132 February 4, 2022

Humpty Dumpty

when a girls hot enough to hump, but her personality gets her dumped.

Humpty Dumpty sat on his balls, Humpty‘s big mouth went off the wall…all the ex-boyfriends and neighborhood men would never date humpty ever again.

by Shaggy6913 August 18, 2024

Humpty

The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

by poroekd October 13, 2022

Humpty-Dumpty

When you dry hump someone and then take a dump on their face

John : "Ah yes, Susan loves the Humpty-Dumpty"

by Philosophical Panda October 13, 2021

Humpty Fuckty

The act of having a poo (Humpty) while also having a sexual intercourse (Fuckty).

Usually done in airport loos (notably Luton) where time is critical.

Have we got time for a quick humpty fuckty. before boarding? Really don't want to be late for Portugal but can kill 2 birds with 1 stone…

by SaintBlue October 2, 2024