Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

by Kirbo the man September 26, 2019

Humpty dumpster

A physical act where upon the chef places an egg inside their rectum and cracks it with the sphincter allowing only egg white to drip upon the desired surface.

I dropped a Humpty dumpster on her chest.

by Nabc February 24, 2024

Humpty

The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

by poroekd October 13, 2022

Humpty-Dumpty

When you dry hump someone and then take a dump on their face

John : "Ah yes, Susan loves the Humpty-Dumpty"

by Philosophical Panda October 13, 2021

humpty ass

Silly, stupid, forgetful

My humpty ass forgot to save my paper and I lost it when my computer crashed.

by Taco Tea Co. May 19, 2006

humpty-fuck

In interface development, the act of taking a shitty, broken, shattered visual design, data model, or prototype and putting it back together to form some sort of pristine fuckin' egg to serve up to the user.

"Let me get this straight. You want me to humpty-fuck that shit into something usable?"

by MangoBonespurs October 17, 2018