Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

by Kirbo the man September 26, 2019

humpty dumptress

a girl with an egg shaped face, usually with a chin that drips into her neck

Lisa Lampanelli? That humpty dumptress with no chin? Yeah-- I always get her mixed up with Chaz Bono.

by bacardehali August 1, 2012

Humpty dumpster

A physical act where upon the chef places an egg inside their rectum and cracks it with the sphincter allowing only egg white to drip upon the desired surface.

I dropped a Humpty dumpster on her chest.

by Nabc February 24, 2024

Humpty Dumpty

Fat person with skinny legs.

This doesn't include someone who works out and skips leg day.

Humpty Dumpty must've gotten off from the couch for the first time in weeks.

by My naptime July 7, 2022

Humpty Dumpty

When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it

Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty

Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?

Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit

by BirdKibble July 25, 2022

Humpty Dumpty

When a someone is humping someone from the behind, and then carefully proceeds to take just the biggest dump on them. And I mean Taco Bell levels of crap, straight on the body. This could be intentional, but is usually accidental

Dude, how was sex last night?

Bro, I totally gave her the Humpty Dumpty last night!
That was totally sick!

by Gayvid2006 January 11, 2022