Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter

The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.

Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!

by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAa

by Kirbo the man September 26, 2019

Humpty dumpty

Spittin image of Shea kearns

Person:have you seen Shea kearns

Person 2: Aye head on him like Humpty Dumpty

by Crt November 26, 2022

Humpty

The fuel of nightmares, typically an egg or a previous English king.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall.

by poroekd October 13, 2022

Humpty-Dumpty

When you dry hump someone and then take a dump on their face

John : "Ah yes, Susan loves the Humpty-Dumpty"

by Philosophical Panda October 13, 2021

humpty dumptress

a girl with an egg shaped face, usually with a chin that drips into her neck

Lisa Lampanelli? That humpty dumptress with no chin? Yeah-- I always get her mixed up with Chaz Bono.

by bacardehali August 1, 2012

HUMPTY DUMPTY

When you hump a girl presumably your date, then proceed to shit all over the bed, and make her clean it up.

Jack "Bro Natalie is a freak bro she wanted me to humpty dumpy her"
Steve"So did you??"
Jack "Hell yea bro"

A humpty dumpty is when you have sex with a girl then proceed to shit all over the bed.

by Reese98 May 3, 2021