The sexual act in which a man puts 2 eggs in between a woman's breasts(while laying in bed) and then sit on them for a solid 2 - 5 hours with a heating lamp near by and the room temperature very high. Then when he gets up, they should be hot, goey, and sticky. He will then proceed to use this as lube for violent sex afterwards. Then, with some of the eggshells, he will proceed to scrape her nipples until they are a bloody pulp.
Me: Dude, im so nervous...
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
Friend: Whys that?
Me: Sally wants me to do a Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splitter....I don't think I can sit still for that long!
Friend: Don't worry you'll be fine bro!!
by Shank0potomis August 1, 2012
Get the Texas Humpty-Dumpty Nipple Splittermug. by Kirbo the man September 26, 2019
Get the DUMPTY HUMPTY BUMPTY RUMPTY AAAamug. When you are hovering your ass over the toilet and the shit hits the lid of the toilet before sliding into it
Person 1: Hey man I was taking a crap at the office today and I made a Humpty Dumpty
Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?
Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
Person 2: That sucks, Did you clean up the smear?
Person 1: No I left it, I'm not touching that shit
by BirdKibble July 25, 2022
Get the Humpty Dumptymug. A lifetime diagnosis resulting from roll in the hay with the town bicycle, your mom, Trina from down the block, etc characterized by occasional flare ups of “fun bubbles” full of disease in the nether regions - tldr- genital herpes
“Little Ron caught himself a nasty case of the humpty bumps down at your moms house and can’t get himself a dose of the Valtrex til next week- got himself more blisters than Usain Bolt on marathon Monday”
by TallulahTabasco132 February 4, 2022
Get the Humpty Bumpsmug. by BoliviaCitrius May 8, 2021
Get the Humpty Dumptymug. When a someone is humping someone from the behind, and then carefully proceeds to take just the biggest dump on them. And I mean Taco Bell levels of crap, straight on the body. This could be intentional, but is usually accidental
Dude, how was sex last night?
Bro, I totally gave her the Humpty Dumpty last night!
That was totally sick!
Bro, I totally gave her the Humpty Dumpty last night!
That was totally sick!
by Gayvid2006 January 11, 2022
Get the Humpty Dumptymug. A verb which mainly means "high treason, insult to others both higher and lower, he who has no chill" if you ever commit this you'll be killed on sight
(person 1): Man not EVERYONE can be an Olympian
(person 2): I feel insulted did you just commit dodo-fragil-dodo-pene-humpty-dumptytarinsm on me?!
(person 2): I feel insulted did you just commit dodo-fragil-dodo-pene-humpty-dumptytarinsm on me?!
by Lord clem the thridst September 7, 2021
Get the dodo-fragil-dodo-pene-humpty-dumptytarinsmmug.