Skip to main content

Speedskating 

The act of calling up an elderly woman in the pursuit of oral pleasure, and then following up by taberknackling the phone and the elderly woman's pet gerbal. This can be done (in the case the speedskater is gay) to an elderly man as well.
Robby: "I just speedskated Old Lady Gertrude down the street. You wouldn't believe how good old lady gums and gerbal fur feels on your nuts."

Casey: "Gee wizz...I can't wait til I can speedskate my gramma!"
Speedskating by Dick Tracy December 19, 2004
Speedskating mug front
Get the Speedskating mug.
See more merch

Speedskating

Speedskating is a winter sport that takes place on an ice rink, where skaters line up at the starting line and race to see who is the fastest. There are different types of speedskating, including long track and short track, with races held over various distances. For safety, skaters wear helmets, cut-resistant gloves, knee pads, shin guards, and sometimes neck guards to protect them during falls. Speedskating blades are longer than hockey blades and allow skaters to reach speeds of up to 50 km/h, so safety rules and protective equipment are very important. Overall, speed skating is an exciting, challenging, and thrilling sport to watch and compete in.
I love speedskating!
Speedskating by Da_sk8ter January 11, 2026
Related Words

Speediating 

An alternate version of the word speeding, used chiefly by corporate whores, Wifeswap contestants and people with severe retardation (esp. sufferers of Angelman Syndrome).
Angelman Syndrome Sufferer: Is there any way of speediating up the process?

Normal Human Being: No.
Speediating by WaywardSun September 8, 2011

Speedboating 

Guy Lombardo was not just a orchestra leader, he was into speedboating as well.
Speedboating by Flava Jay December 9, 2008

speed skating 

A very intense sport envolves skating so fast that you feel like you going faster that the speed of sound even though your grandmother can run faster than you skate. Unless you an Olympian
Guy1 “I’m going so fast right now. I must be going faster than Usain Bolt! I’m the best at speed skating”
Guy2 “no you’re not. That 4 year old is going faster than you”
Guy1 “oh. Sh*t”
speed skating by Oldbehide November 8, 2018

Speed skating 

An extreme sport where individuals strap knives on their feet and skate in circles on solid water at very high speeds. They may also touch the ice at times during skating in order to validate the ice’s feelings.
Bob: I really like going in circles and touching ice.
John: Join speed skating!!
Speed skating by Wanderingdustbunny November 22, 2021
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026