What Westley meant to tell Buttercup in Princess Bride was ... "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world; it would be a pity to damage your lactose cans"
Lactose intolerant is when someone can't eat dairy foods because of the lactose content. When someone who is lactose intolerant eats dairy without taking a pill, that person has horrible bellyaches.
Man, I had my IRS 1040 all filled out and signed when a lactodeflection off my corn flakessplattered it with milk. I knew I shouldn't do taxes at breakfast.