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choking the dog 

Inserting an object into your ass while masturbating.
I used a flashlight while choking the dog today before work
choking the dog by SStampley July 21, 2013

Cooking the dog 

When your ex girlfriend/boyfriend makes up a bullshit story to get you jealous so you'll want to get back with them. See also Fatal Attraction - boiling the rabbit
Crystal was cooking the dog when she told you your best friend was drunk and hitting on her.
Cooking the dog by anonymous June 9, 2021

Cooking the dog 

Furiously masturbating.
John: "Dude, what are you doing?"

Furious masturbator: "Cooking the dog bro."
Cooking the dog by Lao_Tzu January 23, 2015