Terminally po-[faced], miserable, humourless. A term famously used by former Australian Prime Minister Paul Keating to describe former PMMalcolm Fraser.
"You look like an Easter Island statue with an arse full of razor blades."
Hym "Whaaaaaaat the fuuuuck!? The easter island heads were FUCKING DESTROYED!!! Destroyed in a volcano caused wild fire or something! HOLY SHIT! Wow man, that is fucking WILD! Wow! That is some serious history to just lose like that.