Clam
head is a
dude that is not good at anything but once you get him treading clams he is a savant. He tends to bring up clams every couple of seconds while his partners might take minutes.
You will notice that when clammers first jump in the bay they will be separated from each other by at least 100 feet between them. After a couple of minutes it is easy to pick out the clam
head as the other clammers will begin to move towards the clam
head until they are touching him. This phenomena is explained by the fact that the clam
head can always find the "nest" which can have many clams sitting on top of each other.
The non clam heads move closer to try to get in on that nest. When this happens, the clam
head simply moves away and finds another nest.
Clam heads are very popular in the
water but usually geeks out of the
water. Their moment of glory (time of glory) is only during the time while treading away. Clam heads never hold a bucket for the clams. There is usually a helper holding the bucket for the clam
head (note the status in the
water). When there is no bucket, clam heads are always struggling to hold the clams they are catching. Clam heads always count their clams out loud as they are catching them to make sure everyone knows they are the best. Clam heads usually have stinky feet with semi-black toenails and it is not known if this contributes to their prowness catching clams though studies are on-going. It is always a good thing to have a clam
head in your party when going clamming as they get so many clams others can take breaks and drink beer. It is very hard to get a clam head out of the
water. The only known method is to urinate on him in the
water and when he feels the warm water something in the clam
head tells him it's time to get on the boat.
Bring Richie clamming with us, he's such a clam
head we can all listen to the Yankee
game and drink beers while he treads for those clams and makes us rich.
Ok, I'll go pick him up but I think he's at the
nerd convention right now.
Tell him we're going clamming. He'll come.
You're right. Ha ha ha ha.
