The
stuff I find in my jammies in the morning that tastes
like mushrooms. Note: Traditionally the noun "
sperm" is one of many English nouns that does not take the pluralizing 's', serving as both the singular and plural form (not unlike "goose," "
moose," and "penis"). Recently however, several prominent sperm doctors, policy analysts, and kindergartners have begun experimenting with the more commonsensical--though admittedly jarring--"sperms" (See
William Safire's "Whoppers
Junior and Sperms Whale" for a more thorough discussion). One lexicographer has noted, as a recent variant of the ubiquitous "Kilroy was here" graffito, the emergence of "Kilroy's sperms was here." Debate has sprung up in certain circles whether the singular verb here is a deliberate, if
cheeky, attempt by urban wordsmiths to keep the state of the language in play as an ironic gesture of postmodern insouciance regarding the moribund strictures of prescriptive grammar, and as a Nietzschean celebration of linguistic, and therefore metaphysical, uncertainty, or whether it's simply a mistake.
"
Mommy, I found more sperms in my jammies this morning. They taste
like mushrooms." "Capt. Thomas, hoping to avoid impregnating his wife, sexited his member from her
love-tunnel and loosed his sperms on his nearby pirate hat."
