Skip to main content

Throne Phone

The phone that is hung up in some hotels right next to the toilet.
"Dude, I tried calling your suite earlier but you didn't answer!"

"I couldn't answer because I was on the throne."

"Why didn't you use the throne phone then?"

throne vs. phone 

That infuriating and mysterious battle between two common household objects --- both made of white porcelain --- which causes untold headaches, especially if there's only one person in the house at the time. You know the drill --- the telephone can be "silent" for hours, yet as soon as you plop down on the toilet and are in the middle of a lengthy crap, THAT'S precisely when the 0%!$&#@ phone decides to ring, and so you have to awkwardly jam a tissue-wad up your butt and hold it there while you penguin-strut with your trousers down around your ankles all the way across the living room to grab the receiver with your messy hand, only to either (1) have the caller hang up just as you are lifting the receiver, or (2) have it be just either a telemarketer or a bill-collector who'd dialed the wrong number, anyway, or (3) have the caller be a bored/crybaby/mooching neighbor who had nothing important to say/ask, but just called to shoot the breeze, whine about his miserable life (which he could easily improve if he'd just start being more responsible/diligent), or ask for a ride, assistance with some ordinary task that he really could accomplish himself, or the loan of money/a vehicle/tools. So you'll have totally wasted your time/effort --- not to mention half a bottle of Lysol to disinfect the phone afterwards --- to answer the phone that time, when the call turned out to be non-urgent and so you could have just let the answering machine take it.
Judge: Next case --- throne vs. phone. Phone, you are hereby accused of intentionally waiting to ring until your owner goes to take a dump. How do you plead?
Phone: Guilty as charged, Your Honor, but I can't really help it... I am unable to ring if there is nobody calling, and if there is a ring-signal sent through the telephone wires, I have to ring whether I want to or not. I don't like to bother my owner anymore than he does; I'm just doing what I was designed to do; it's the inconsiderate callers who should be the real defendants here.
Judge: Good point --- case dismissed.
throne vs. phone by QuacksO November 2, 2016
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026

Nerd neck 

A "human" that spends so much time playing video games that their posture is level nerd neck. Everytime anyone goes tryhard they hunch down and their neck gets longer there fore a nerd neck is always hunched down cause they're always going try hard. In other words a nerd neck is a try hard, since their neck is 100% longer than the average human being due to playing too many video games and taking them serious, nerd necks are not even considered human anymore but something more sad. Nerd necks are often found on fortnite, their natural habitat usually being tilted towers.
What a fucking nerd neck!

He is building so fast, nerd neck!

Looser more like a nerd neck ha!
Nerd neck by D Sandwich Maker February 5, 2019
Word of the Day on June 25, 2026

love peace and chicken grease 

"another of sayin peace out or good bye"
Talk to ya later......Love, Peace, and Chicken Grease
Word of the Day on June 24, 2026
slip of the tongue perhaps,
Those idiots who drive around in a ridiculously raised pick up truck, making a top heavy vehicle even more top heavy and unstable
A:*gah*
B: "Whats the matter"
A: This dam prickup is blinding me.
B: Stupid thing's, as if there lights weren't blinding enough as it is.
prickup by lunasea September 28, 2009
Word of the Day on June 23, 2026