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Shelf Monkey

A retail worker who primarily opens boxes, puts them on shelves and maintains the appearance of the shelf.
"Managment wouldn't let me make important decisions despite having more experience on this than them. I'm just a shelf monkey."
Shelf Monkey by Blueboy$ March 19, 2020

self-monkey 

The act of rolling a 1-1-2 during a tiebreaker gooch roll. The result being the requirement to wear a tin foil hat while paying and carrying the breakfast order.
Ali lost the tie breaker with a 1-1-2 roll on dice resulting in the dreaded but rare self-monkey. On the way to get breakfast he refused to wear the tin foil hat and subsequently he has banned from playing in the orginal Powerex Gooch Roll and is now forced to play in a substandard game on a lower floor.
self-monkey by Gooch Rider April 24, 2011

self monkey 

To produce a Self Monkey first take the shavings from your shaver in one hand

Manually spank the monkey and shoot your load so it lands on your chin

Slap the shavings on your chin, thus producing soft and downy designer stubble

See Monkey Face
I had such a good wank last night I shot my jizz so far it landed on my chin, I went over to the sink to clean it off but all the trimmings from my shaver spilled out and I ended up with a self monkey to be proud of
self monkey by Tim Bolton November 10, 2007

monkey self 

When you or someone else acts ridiculous, usually by accident. "Monkey self" meaning yourself, and "monkey ass" meaning someone else.
"BRO my monkey self fell asleep yesterday when I was supposed to meet you guys at the park."

"His monkey ass really just failed to do a backflip during the dance battle, and then let out the loudest fart ever heard by humanity the very second he hit the ground."
monkey self by VomitOnMySkirt November 23, 2022

Turtle Shell On A Monkey Bar

Men who ride Harley's or other cruising type bikes, who wear turtle shell style helmets because they are not driving fast enough to need a full helmet usually. And they ride on a bike that has had custom steering handles installed. The handle bars are usually raised an additional 10 to 12 inches, making the rider appear to be hanging from a monkey bar.
"How bout that turtle shell on a monkey bar, his tiny helmet had huge skulls painted on it and he was barely able to hang onto his monkey bar because it was almost too high..."
It is said of the situation where a person has the bad luck to make contact with his testicles against an undefined surface or object, intentioned or not.
Given the nature of the word, it is more appropriate to design cases where the interaction is made with a moving object, for example, a ball.
Although it is extremely painful for the victim, it tends to be considerably funny to people who witness it.
Today in the baseball game the pitcher took a nutshot; the baseball hit him in the nuts.

Man, I just watched the funniest nutshot video ever.
Nutshot by Uberflaven March 1, 2009
Word of the Day on June 26, 2026