Someone who enjoys all the perks of living on a farm whilst contributing absolutely jack shit to the national agricultural industry. Often observed sponging off the government by claiming every kind of grant or subsidy going like it's some kind of fucking give-away. A hobby farmer will own all the machinery and equipment necessary to run a successful working farm but with the slight oversight of not having any fucking livestock or crops. Not even chickens. Fingers like parsnips and trousers held up with baling twine, hobby farmers are often gayer than a handbag full of rainbows.
Michael: Will the hobby farmer be joining us?
John: No he's busy finishing off his dry stone wall so that real farmers can't sneak a look at all the food he isn't producing.
Originally an I.E.D. (improvised explosive device) but then developed by the Russian special forces whilst fighting in Afghanistan. The Jo-bomb is a devastating weapon which can tear apart the tidiest of apartments. Within seconds, womens clothing, footwear and toiletries are dispersed at great velocity, sparing no-one. The United Nations Peace-keeping force has tried to ban the Jo-bomb, but they got blown up aswell.
"Ill never forget that day, before i even knew what was going on, Barry, stood right next to me, was hit in the chest with a stiletto heel - killing him instantly. Dave was struck across the side of the face with a bottle of anti-blemish solution, he lost an eye. A day hasnt gone by when i havnt thought about the Jo-bomb"
When someone talks almost endlessly about their past military experiences, including historical facts, anecdotes and tales of buffoonery. It is possible to be caught in a conversation with a group of sandbaggers, this can be a dangerously boring situation, difficult to get away from and should be avoided by civilians at all costs.
Tony: "Tim, did I ever tell you about the Naval Commander that invented the jubilee clip?"
Tim: "What the f**k has that got to do with anything? Don't start sandbagging!"