wise man's definitions

Pumpy Trousers

An amusing term i heard a radio dj use to refer to someone with a 'gas problem'

Since you started your spinach and lemonade diet you've become a real pumpy trousers

by Wise Man November 13, 2003

Hoodyanikabolokov

A Russian with three testicles.

Hoodyanikabolokov: Hey i have 3 testicles!
Me: Oh yeah? Who'd ya nick a bollock off?
Hoodyanikabolokov: How did you know my name!?
Me: Wha?

by Wise Man November 18, 2003

onions

An expression for breasts when the owner is over 50.
When a girl is in her 20's her tits are called Melons because they are large, round and firm. When a girl gets into her 30s/40's they become baps, still fairly round but softer.
However, once a girl gets into her 50's they become onions, when you see them they make you cry.

Oh no, i just saw your mum's onions <sob sob>

by Wise Man November 18, 2003

Key Hole Surgery

When you wrap a towel around your forefinger and give your ringpiece a good scrub after taking a shower.

Mary: Whats all these brown marks on the towel?
Bill: Oh, sorry, i was doing some key hole surgery.

by Wise Man November 19, 2003

Crikey Moses

An exclamation of surprise, like when I test drove my car for the first time and the turbo came in.

Me: Mmm, sounds ok, bit slow though.

2 seconds later...

Car: Fsssssssssssssssssstttttt Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap Ptchooooooooooo
Me: CRIKEY MOSES!!!!!!!!

by Wise Man November 20, 2003

Ringpiece

Bum-hole, Arse-hole, sphincter, brown eye, rusty sheriffs badge, chocolate starfish, Arris, Gary Glitter, Anus, rectum etc

After that harsh curry last night, my ringpiece became an outlet for a torrent of aromatic abuse.

by Wise Man November 20, 2003

Aromatic Abuse

A really bad fart, one that smells like actual real ripe poo, you could be forgiven for thinking there is a real dollop of feaces is in the room. Can make you heave.

Me: Hey Stu, how's it going
squeeeeeaaaaaarrrppppp
Stu: Oh SHIT, that is serious aromatic abuse <wretches>

by Wise Man November 20, 2003