The deathly blue glow cast on a persons face by an electronic device in low light conditions resulting in a zombie like appearence and overwhelming fixation on said device.
Hey dude, why don't you put down your f'n phone and join the world of the living, Your EGF - Electronic Glow Face is pissing me off, freak!
Uncontrollable staring at a hot piece of ass.
Causes; Lululemon, bikinis, full lips, shiny hair, high heels, perky breasts, tight ass, short shorts and or a cute smile.
Symptoms include; tunnel vision, sudden rapid heart beat, shortness of breath, sweating, swelling of the penis, loss of cognition and lucid daydreaming.
Complications include; crashing your car, getting slapped by your girlfriend, whiplash, fear and loathing, masturbation and downing multiple shots of Tequila in a feeble effort to gain the courage to talk to her.
Transmission occurs primarily at bars, beaches and the mall but can and does occur almost anywhere.
After the crash Brad's doctor diagnosed him with Acute Retinal Vaginitis and he was found "not a fault"
The stalking charges were dropped after it was found the the defendant suffered from Chronic Retinal Vaginitis.
"Sorry honey, I didn't mean to stare at her, my Retinal Vaginitis flared up again!"
A topical lubricating cream that when applied liberally and rubbed vigourously over a man's penis will provide short term relief of the reoccurring itch to masturbate.
Man, "Doc you gotta help me, I have this itch all the time"
Doc, "Where does it prickle son"
Man. "Its my dick, it's yearning"
Doc. "Rx for Penisil, apply when required but no more than 5 times a day"
Man, "For how long?"
Doc, "FOREVER, there is no cure!"
Later that day....
AHHH, that's better. With that out of the way I am a fun guy again.