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12 definitions by uncle des

 
1.
When your cell phone, iPod or computer battery is just about to die, and you are engaged in a frantic hunt for an electrical socket to plug it into at an airport, you're "outlet shopping".
"Man, my phone gave up the ghost at LaGuardia, and I was outlet shopping for 15 minutes 'cos none of these geeks would let me plug in..."
by Uncle Des June 27, 2009
 
2.
A Facebook game that is like crack for housewives.
Me at 7:00am: "See you later honey. Don't play Bejeweled Blitz."
Her: "'Kay. 'Bye" She goes to computer
Me at 6:00pm: "I'm back. Honey: the house burned down and the kids are gone!!!!"
Her: "Shelly just got 127,000! I've got to beat her..."
by Uncle Des July 12, 2009
 
3.
Driving with one arm hanging out of your car window, cos your chiller broke.
Guy1: "Why's your right arm brown?"
Guy2: "We lost the air-conditioner in Dave's Pinto, so he drove us from Dallas to Houston in mid-summer with only Canadian air-conditioning and frequent beer stops to keep us frosty. It was hell."
by Uncle Des September 02, 2009
 
4.
Basically what a booth babe turns into while you're at other tradeshows. Much in evidence due to the poor economy.

She's been divorced at least once; smokes; has a peeling tan; hugs every man she gets close to and the perfect specimen has both a stupid name (or a good name spelled oddly) and a job title that is actually one step up from receptionist if you look at it too closely enough.
Salesguy: "Hey, meet Janneene. She's our Director of Marcom Integration."
You: "Behind the booth slapper?!"
by Uncle Des July 18, 2009
 
5.
Like being dead, but without the fun.
"I died and went to Utica."

"Utica failed in its bid to be twinned with Pluto"
by Uncle Des November 25, 2009
 
6.
The aftereffect of either

1/ Super-hot Mexican or Indian food, or

2/ A huge, compacted poop that came out feeling like you were giving birth to a huge sandpaper baby through your butt.
Guy1: "You are walking funny: what happened?"
Guy2: "Feeling canarsie after that vindaloo last night..."
by Uncle Des July 26, 2009
 
7.
Derogatory term for a Bluetooth earpiece worn by anyone over 40 years old in the sad belief that it makes them look cool. Seen from the opposite side, it makes them look like an old person suffering from semile dementia and talking to themselves.
Middle-aged woman apparently talking to herself in park.
Guy: "What's up with grandma over there?"
Girl: "She's on her hearing aid again to her daughter."
by Uncle Des August 21, 2009