3 definitions by theonepaladin

invented by Nicholas Fennema (April 4th, 2005 with inspiration from the unknown origin's rotflcopter, and Digital Ph33r's rotflknife

lawlhammer (loll-ham-mer): noun (1.) a blunt weapon that is used to kill any joke that has gone far enough (2.) the gravity hammer on halo 3 (3.) the judge's gabble which is used for condemning people for heinous crimes (4.) the last laugh
if you can't get the last word, or if you can't get a word in edgewise: use the lawlhammer to make it clear that if you had an actual hammer, you would bludgeon him to death, so therefore, politely letting the person know to STFU
1. guy: TWSS!!!
guy: LOOOOOOOL!!!!
me: lol
guy: ROTFL!!!
guy: LMAO!!!!
guy: ROTFLCOPTER!!!!!
guy: ROTFLMAOL!!!
me: lawlhammer

2. THAT N00B JUST PWND ME WITH A F***ING LAWLHAMMER!!!

3. The judged banged his lawlhammer at once, when the clown who mass-murdered mimes had been convicted for his crimes. He was then sent to the UB3R-D3ATH-R0W, where his death would be brought about by being kicked into a pit, totally naked, with zombie-MJ in it.

4. Lawlhammer.
by theonepaladin September 3, 2009
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invented by Nicholas Fennema on April 7th, 2009 with inspiration from rotflcopters and rotflknives

when all else (except everything NOT categorized as "brute-force") fails, people turn to the rawrcannon, the artificial shoop-da-woop laser made by the aliens working for the Pope, working for the government, working for the last (deceased) Pope
dr. octagonapus: DR. OCTAGONAPUS BL-
me: TOO SLOW! IMMA FIRREN MAH RAWRCANNON!!!
*cannon drops out of the sky and FIRES ITS LAZZARZ!!!*
cannon: HAAAAAAAALB!!!
by theonepaladin September 3, 2009
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fictional location in africa that is known for misadventures and ironic humor, Nick Fennema, teamed up with Master Chief, Stephen Colbert, Nigga Jamal, Vince Zephyr, Chuck Norris, Vince Zephyr's retarded younger brother (with a tail), and sometimes a guest star save many different ethnic, racial, religious, and other holidays for specific groups' holidays labeled "Christmases";
ebonia's main export is dolphins, and their current monarch is Mace Windu; instead of hours and minutes, they measure time with food increments.
last week Nick teamed up with Vince Zephyr and Sonic the Hedgehog to save "Smurf Christmas" from the evil overlord and scientologist leader Lord Xenu who was abducting elderly people in handicap accessible RVs and minivans (that can fly) to use them as batteries to revive ancient sea-dwelling dinosaurs to rule over all of ebonia
by theonepaladin April 7, 2010
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