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stu in the zoo's definitions

calvin johnson

god. of god. as in, calvin johnson is god.
<kicks friend in nuts>

"aw fuck, what was that for, god damn it?"

"oh shit, don't you dare bring calvin johnson into this"
by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008
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jon kitna

verb. to give away. named after jon kitna, the former seattle, cinci and now lions quarterback who has made an art form of giving footballs and games away.
"i saw that pile of old clothes in your garage, what's up with 'em"

"aw, i'm gonna jon kitna 'em to goodwill"

"loser"
by stu in the zoo December 26, 2008
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Dong Hider

one who likes to makes dicks disappear. a magician of sorts who makes penises vanish in strange places like his mouth or butt.
"like.... holy crap, justin timerlake is so hot. i could totally go Dong Hider on him."

"yeah, too bad Gay Tee only sleeps with straight dudes."
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008
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DAP

Acronym: Dogged A Prostitute

to acquire the services of a prostitute, introduce her to mind-altering chemicals then letting your canine buddy have a crack at her.
"damn man, there's that strung out sterno whore i dap'd last night. my black lab otis and a couple sniffs of ether and she'll never be the same."
by stu in the zoo January 21, 2007
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Fagtastic

a one-night chain of events that has you...

1) realizing you might be gay.
2) "receiving" some anal sex and absolutely loving it.
dang, what's up with you wearing all that abercrombie gear?

i met this guy at church camp last night. we went back to my place and he was FAGTASTIC!

later.
by stu in the zoo February 15, 2008
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bob ross

1- non-hetero hack painter with a white-guy afro.

2- anyone who buck's up and goes through life happy despite the fact that everything around them is shit (like being a non-hetero hack painter with an afro, for example).
"hey timmy, you look down. you okay, girl?"

"yeah, i hooked up with this dude from my youth group last night. he was tossing my salad and i accidentally shit on him."

"yikes!"

"yeah, my life is shit but i'm gonna bob ross it anyway."

"way to think happy thoughts, timmy."
by stu in the zoo December 25, 2008
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Fagnutz

a person who is comfortable in the worst situations... like on a guys chin or bouncing off big mo's taint.
"hey, you guys should come over to my dorm tonight and listen to the new bravery disc and drink coors light."

"shut the fuck up, fagnutz"
by stu in the zoo February 11, 2008
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