stephen w. thomas's definitions

vacuum-packed cows

A vacuum-packed cow can be found in most fields in Britain throughout autumn and winter. Many believe that the large cylinder black bags are full of hay, but that is an urban legend. Inside these mysterious bags are on average three vacuum-packed cows. These cows have been dehydrated and vacuum packed in order to keep them safe until spring. If you had ever wondered why there were a lot less cows in the fields in winter, you now know. Obviously not all cows are vacuum-packed, as it is still a new technology, and can be dangerous to cows, or require them to have months of therapy afterwards.

Farmer Brown started vacuum-packing his cows around October, so they could get used to their vacuumed environment.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

saving the world

A harmless way for girls to describe monthly cycles without making guy friends feel awkward.

'Why are you so squinky Jennifer?'
'Sorry, I'm saving the world at the moment.'

by Stephen W. Thomas July 12, 2005

The Fast Show

Ha. Hahah. Hahahah. Heee hee ha ha ha!

'Ha. Hahah. Hahahah. Heee hee ha ha ha!'

by Stephen W. Thomas November 10, 2004

chavilicious

Fantastically chav-like. Used in description of a typical chav or similar.

FCUK is chavilicious!

by Stephen W. Thomas December 1, 2004

Imberhorny

To be chav-like, but from a middle-class setting. The origin is from Imberhorne school, in East Grinstead, where there is a high population of chavs from middle-class surburbia. Year 8 alone is approximately 72% chav, whereas Year 11, despite being a lesser 71.6% chav, has even more in the year itself. The word Imberhorny, is therefore to be like and Imberhorne chav.

'That kid just asked if I was gay.'
'Yeah, but he's Imberhorny, what does he know?'
'Besides, I'm shagging his sister as it is.'
'Ewww! You're so Imberhorny!'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 14, 2005

squinky

Angry, mad, frustrated and so forth. It has so many meanings I can't be arsed with them all.

'Why are you so squinky at me, Stan?'

by Stephen W. Thomas July 12, 2005

West Hoathly

A small village in Sussex which is actually the one point where our dimension and the 53rd dimension meet. If the church door is opened and shut three time fast it takes you through to a dimension where trees are overlords of Earth. This cause much confusion on Sunday mornings.

'Damn that West Hoathly church door.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 13, 2005