stephen w. thomas's definitions

what the monkey

An expression of shock pioneered in West Sussex churches as a way to avoid swearing when surprised. Has now spread and is a general phrase used when shocked. Can be shortened for instant messaging to WTM.

"Johnny, I'm pregnant."
"What the monkey!?"

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004

Brightonshire

The collective counties of West and East Sussex.

"I went down to Brightonshire the other day. Twas sunny like the windfart.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

Tree Fairy

The Tree Fairy, also known as the Winter Fairy, brings on the season of winter. The Tree Fairy flys around the world at night, over several weeks late in the year, injecting trees with a special poison. This poison, 'Trisphinxius X' causes, over a short amount of time, the falling off of the tree's leaves. The Tree Fairy works late in the year only, a she takes trips to Bermuda every summer. Legend has it that once upon a time a Norwegian Pine saved the Tree Fairy's life, and as a payment, she has never injected an 'evergreen' since. Hallelujah.

'I am the tree fairy, and I bring you cold, ugly trees!'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 15, 2005

West Hoathly

A tiny village situated in West Sussex, on a hill.

'I live in West Hoathly.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 10, 2005

rich chavs

Chavs who can afford Fred Perry, and live in ex-council houses, as opposed to council houses.

I think that about covers it, actually.

by Stephen W. Thomas May 9, 2005

boobtacular

An adjective, used to describe the size of man-boobs.

'Mate! Those are boobtacular!'
'....And now you swallow your teeth.'

by Stephen W. Thomas May 13, 2005

wannabe townie

A person who openly wishes to be a townie, but for one reason or another, does not fall into the townie category.

"Look at the townies over there."
"Nah, they're wannabe townies."

by Stephen W. Thomas October 12, 2004