45 definitions by steagles

Guest featured frequently on the Phil Hendrie Show. Owner of Ted's of Beverly Hills restaraunt located in Beverly Hills, California. They cater only to upscale and wealthy customers and will tow your car if you dare pull something like a Toyota Camry into the parking lot.
"Ted Bell" Jingle lyrics:

...of Beverly Hills!
Come on down

Here at Ted's!
We wanna put our meat in your mouth.
by Steagles June 06, 2006
An American sport that originates from the English sport of Rugby. It is played between two teams on a field of 100 yards (120 total including the end zones) with a brown oval shaped object called a Football. A team’s objective is to get it’s offense on the field as often as possible (to score) and keep the opponent’s offense off the field when possible, and limit their performance when they are on. Team’s score by driving the ball down the field by running and passing. The most common form of scoring is the touchdown (six points), followed by field goals (3), and (rarely) safeties (2). Immediately following the scoring of a touchdown the scoring team is given the option of performing a two-point conversion (worth 2 points) or the point-after-touchdown (PAT, 1 point). Field goals and PATs are scored by kicking the Football between a tall goal post located behind the end zone. Professional and collegiate games last full 60-minutes while high school games normally run at 48. It’s important to note that due to timeouts and play huddling Football games normally last between 3 and 4 hours.

Critics (normally foreign) seek to compare the playing style of American Football to Rugby. This is inaccurate, however. They are two different sports. While in Football certain positions require significantly larger stature and others do not, virtually all positions in Rugby require relatively large size. Linebackers, Tight Ends, Full Backs and (larger) Quarterbacks are often suitable for Rugby while positions such as Safeties, Half Backs, and Cornerbacks are normally not. Lineman can also suitable for Rugby play but few are. Unlike Rugby, American Football is a strategic sport and hence more importance is placed upon skill in positions. This, along with size differences, is why players rarely play both defense and offense.

Unlike Rugby, by rule, Football play requires one wears protective gear. While in Rugby very large players tend to tackle other very large players, in Football very large players tend to tackle players inferior in size to them which can result in higher rates of injury. In addition to this, turf is becoming increasingly common as a replacement for grass in Football stadiums again reinforcing the necessity for protective gear. Attire includes a hard helmet with facemask, numbered jersey for identification, shoulder and chest pads, tight pants with buttock, knee, and thigh pads, and cleats. Regardless of protective gear, Football has a higher injury rate than Rugby.

It is played on High School, Collegiate, and Professional (namely NFL) levels. Rules are generally the same throughout all levels but differ to varying degrees by league and skill level. American Football’s popularity rages in America overwhelmingly as the most-watched sport, but has failed to catch on in popularity in foreign countries (only Canada has a variation). Because of this, however, it remains a trademark of modern American culture.
The NFL organizes the most popular American Football teams each season for five months of hard-hitting action.
by Steagles February 07, 2006
A form of capital punishment in which weight is applied to the victim gradually. Sometimes if they divulge certain information, the weights will be lifted. In the last ten years gangs have began to bring it back into fashion. Giles Dory, in the 1692 salem trials, is known to have said, "More weight, please" as they added the last lethal stone.
Thug: Yo, boy, you keep talkin' shit we gon' press yo ass.
Punk: OH GOD PRESSING! *urinates on himself*
by Steagles February 12, 2006
A verb that means to embarass someone
Ghetto black person: Oh, that fat bitch clowned yo ass nigga!
Fat bitch: Yea, nigga got clowned...and the clown bout to get FROWNED
Ghetto black person: *smacks fat bitch*
by Steagles February 14, 2006
Large breasts. A term coined by the Phil Hendrie Show.
Bud Dickman: Look at her blouse clowns.
Phil Hendrie: Get outta here!
by Steagles June 06, 2006
Popular Football program that made its first broadcast on September 21st, 1970 on ABC. Shows a regular season matchup game each week until the playoffs, begenning at 8 o'clock. Begenning in the 2006 NFL season ABC will no longer broadcast Monday Night Football, but instead ESPN will air it.

It's theme song, "Heavy Action" was originally intended for the BBC show Superstars.
Monday Night Football is on, bring in the bud already!
by Steagles June 05, 2006
Sometimes known as the "Immaculate Redemption" or "The Tackle II" (the 2000 superbowl had the first one). Happened in the 2005 AFC Divisional Round Playoff game when after the Bus, Jerome Bettis, fumbled the ball at the goal line, Nick Harper recovered the ball and headed full speed towards the endzone to score, ending the Steelers season. However, at the last moment, in a quick jolt, Ben Roethlisberger grabbed Harper by his feet, tackling him, and ending the 14-2 Colts season. Pittsburgh would go on to win Super Bowl XL.
Forget about the Immaculate Reception, the Tackle is what everybody is going to be talking about from here on out.
by Steagles February 12, 2006

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