22 definitions by soreofhing

Something between a mister and his mattress.

Something that Bishops and Generals catch from public toilet seats.
The rest of us can catch it from fucking prostitutes.

Originating from typically southern US fundamentalist Christian sects given to evangelizing in a very outgoing, rumbunctious way, often characterized by a religious bigot standing on a street corner, with or without foam around his mouth, shouting about how we should all turn to Christ, whilst vigourously thumping his soft covered bible for emphasis.
Their actions usually do more harm than good to their cause and bring into disrepute and ridicule those more reticent Christians.

Noun:
1 Someone of the Jewish persuasion.
2 A derogatory term for someone who is dishonest, miserly or generally regarded as not being a gentleman.

Verb:
1 To cheat or defraud.
2 To expend an excessive amount of time and effort to negotiate the lowest price for something when an ordinary person would be ashamed to do so.

Something that wives keep count of when you are at a party.
For example, after a couple of hours laughing and joking with the men, your wife will sidle up to you and say in a very accusing tone of voice "That's your fourth drink, you know".

British slang:
To wank is slang for masturbating, usually understood to be carried out on a man by someone of either sex.

Wanker's cramp is laughingly used to describe any hand pain, with the understood meaning that the person with the pain often masturbates.

When an innocent young man is seriously told that masturbation will cause hair to grow on the palms of your hands, he will often immediately look at his hands thus causing raucous laughter from the others.