scott's definitions
by Scott December 5, 2003
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Any of various imported cars which feature any of several defining characteristics:
- Enlarged exhaust tip to 'enhance the sound', usually chrome while the rest is not.
- Numerous stickers which, if applied correctly, add enough horsepower to make it beat "any V8".
- So-called "Body-kits" which, from what I gather, enhance the cars ability to be useless.
- V-Tec logos; can also be found on honda MiniVans.
- Incredibly unintelligent, obnoxious, and belligerent drivers.
- Senselessly large amounts of pointlessly oversized speakers and amplifiers.
- Shiny things that don't do anything.
- Rims of a size never, ever intended by the manufacturer to be attached to the car.
- "Home" lowering modifications which shorten tread-life of otherwise good tires while adding 0 performance enhancements.
- Pointless hoods made of some composte material with a colouration bearing absolutely no resemblance to the rest of the car.
- Novelty "wings" and "hood scoops" - often mistaken for NASA project parts or commercial airliner wings affixed to the back, regardless of the front-wheel-drive.
If for some reason, the person has the intelligence enough to open the hood and figure out how to affix any of various aftermarket modifications, the car might also feature:
- Numerous additional chrome pieces ('shiny things') which are illegal in California and don't really do anything.
- Several 'FAILED EMISSIONS' stamps on its title
- $1000-$12,000 in aftermarket parts which make the expense (not the value) of the car equal to a normal stock sports sedan with slightly lower performance and none of the features of the other cars
- Pointless bundles of "cable housing" wrapped around heavily insulated cords with no need to be in a cable housing.
- Perhaps a different engine than listed on the VIN, usually illegal or pointless because it costs more than the car's worth to do.
- Neon lights???
- An abundant amount of additional gauges, usually not wired to anything.
- Copious quantities of cosmetic modifications, added regardless of their effect on the appearance (usually negative).
The most interresting part of it all, is that the owners of these phenominal vehicles claim things such as: "with $10,000 in mods it's still cheaper than your mustang or corvette stock and faster".
They fail to see that in proclaiming this they've only insulted themselves. In order to make your vehicle equal to the other said vehicles, you require additional funding which can exceede the value of the car to add countless modifications and ONLY add to the mechanical performance aspect of the vehicle? After all this, your vehicle has now cost as much as my WRX, Mustang, or Camero? The part where you really fail to impress me, is in that your car is still a $10,000 P.O.S. on the inside and it might barely outperform mine, which is beautifully detailed and feature rich while still comfortable, leagel, under warranty, and less time consuming to achieve.
Okay, one more time: you have to spend MORE time, the SAME AMOUNT of money, and the ONLY benefit is a slight mechanical performance increase?
I rest my case. A Honda Civic is just a mediocre mid-sized sedan that costs less and offers no more. You're always going to simply GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
- Enlarged exhaust tip to 'enhance the sound', usually chrome while the rest is not.
- Numerous stickers which, if applied correctly, add enough horsepower to make it beat "any V8".
- So-called "Body-kits" which, from what I gather, enhance the cars ability to be useless.
- V-Tec logos; can also be found on honda MiniVans.
- Incredibly unintelligent, obnoxious, and belligerent drivers.
- Senselessly large amounts of pointlessly oversized speakers and amplifiers.
- Shiny things that don't do anything.
- Rims of a size never, ever intended by the manufacturer to be attached to the car.
- "Home" lowering modifications which shorten tread-life of otherwise good tires while adding 0 performance enhancements.
- Pointless hoods made of some composte material with a colouration bearing absolutely no resemblance to the rest of the car.
- Novelty "wings" and "hood scoops" - often mistaken for NASA project parts or commercial airliner wings affixed to the back, regardless of the front-wheel-drive.
If for some reason, the person has the intelligence enough to open the hood and figure out how to affix any of various aftermarket modifications, the car might also feature:
- Numerous additional chrome pieces ('shiny things') which are illegal in California and don't really do anything.
- Several 'FAILED EMISSIONS' stamps on its title
- $1000-$12,000 in aftermarket parts which make the expense (not the value) of the car equal to a normal stock sports sedan with slightly lower performance and none of the features of the other cars
- Pointless bundles of "cable housing" wrapped around heavily insulated cords with no need to be in a cable housing.
- Perhaps a different engine than listed on the VIN, usually illegal or pointless because it costs more than the car's worth to do.
- Neon lights???
- An abundant amount of additional gauges, usually not wired to anything.
- Copious quantities of cosmetic modifications, added regardless of their effect on the appearance (usually negative).
The most interresting part of it all, is that the owners of these phenominal vehicles claim things such as: "with $10,000 in mods it's still cheaper than your mustang or corvette stock and faster".
They fail to see that in proclaiming this they've only insulted themselves. In order to make your vehicle equal to the other said vehicles, you require additional funding which can exceede the value of the car to add countless modifications and ONLY add to the mechanical performance aspect of the vehicle? After all this, your vehicle has now cost as much as my WRX, Mustang, or Camero? The part where you really fail to impress me, is in that your car is still a $10,000 P.O.S. on the inside and it might barely outperform mine, which is beautifully detailed and feature rich while still comfortable, leagel, under warranty, and less time consuming to achieve.
Okay, one more time: you have to spend MORE time, the SAME AMOUNT of money, and the ONLY benefit is a slight mechanical performance increase?
I rest my case. A Honda Civic is just a mediocre mid-sized sedan that costs less and offers no more. You're always going to simply GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
"Hey Paco, I added $13,241 of shiz to my Civic and I beat a fully stock, 2 year older Camero by 0.2s! Did you know they're putting CD players in those cars stock? Mine cost me just as much and it still doesn't have one."
by Scott December 19, 2003
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Get the Testicability mug.by Scott June 3, 2004
Get the FLICK MY BEAN mug.A person that plays on Halo, who is a total douche bag, and enjoys getting blowjobs from a bus driver named jenny.
by Scott April 22, 2005
Get the 8 Mile mug.This word was originally derived by Dr. Shih from the ancient neanderthalian root words Cal - Kar- Oos, meaning "Out of sync shit carburetor carburetor". However, today the meaning of the word is thought to resemble that of calculus.
"Class, today we have to dou two homeworks tree and four. We no need to get behind for the Calkurus exam May. Homeworks quiz tomorrow on one and too"
by Scott October 19, 2004
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