sarcastic's definitions
A proud descendent of the first group of humans to settle in the Americas. According to recent archaelogical findings, they migrated from Asia via glacier bridges and sea travel more than 12,000 years ago and within a short time, they branched off into thousands of unique cultures. Sadly, the North American natives were nearly exterminated by greedy and gold-thirsty European settlers who tricked them through the use of treaties, butchered entire cultures in the name of God, raped their women, stole their land, and infected them with smallpox, syphillis, and other deadly diseases. Today, what's left of the North American natives are now either drinking themselves to death on the reservations, or getting their sweet revenge by building casinos.
Although the South American natives were luckier than those of the north, they were mostly converted to Catholicism, forced to speak Spanish, and what little earnings they make are sent to the modern Roman capital known as the Vatican.
Although the South American natives were luckier than those of the north, they were mostly converted to Catholicism, forced to speak Spanish, and what little earnings they make are sent to the modern Roman capital known as the Vatican.
Today, the descendents of the European settlers add insult to injury by honoring a holiday called Thanksgiving, which basically celebrates how their ancestors ass-raped and culled back the once widespread Native American population.
by sarcastic November 27, 2003
Get the Native Americanmug. by sarcastic June 7, 2003
Get the diversitymug. What a crock of bullshit! Basically it is either;
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
The American Dream is to work 60 hours a week for minimum wage, spiral downwards into debt as a result of being stupid enough to get credit cards and to spend what little money you have on shiny, expensive products that are useless in value and function.
by sarcastic April 2, 2004
Get the American Dreammug. I went over there last week, and while I was ordering my food, I saw one of the drivers leave the restroom and wash his hands IN THE DISHWATER, even though the sink was right next to the bathroom door. God, that was disgusting! Makes you want to think twice, or thrice, before ordering out, because the utensils used to cut the pizzas may have also been washed in that same water.
Or maybe I was just unfortunate enough to go to a Pizza Hut restaurant which didn't have a wall that blocks the customer's view of the back of the store, but still, that worker should have known better.
by sarcastic January 26, 2004
Get the Pizza Hutmug. See time share time-share.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
An elaborate marketing scam designed to make victims purchase property that they don't really need. Typically this scam is used in vacation/resort towns like Williamsburg, Myrtle Beach, Las Vegas, and Orlando. After being lured to the places with offers of "Free Disney Tickets" or "Free Money", victims are made to endure a 90-120 minute sales presentation where they are shown around a series of semi-luxurious condos or apartments, and then persuaded to purchase a property using deceptive and highly-pressurized sales pitches.
After being shown around a fairly nice-looking apartment complex, the Timeshare salesman and the customer return to the main office to finalize the presentation.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
Timeshare Rep: So, did you like the Quazi Glam properties?
Customer: Absolutely! The jacuzzi room was a nice touch, and the ocean view is spectacular.
Timeshare Rep: Now, I need to get my double-digit sales quota today, and I'm running terribly short on time, so let's get down to business. You said you are an Engineer, and you probably make like a shitload of money, so how would you like to purchase an apartment for $2,899 a month for 60 months?
Customer: Those apartments don't look like they cost that much!
Timeshare Rep: Aw come on now, work with me. (scribbles on a paper) Using a hooey mathematical formula I made up while showing you around, you can easily get one paid off in like, 14 months.
Customer: The price still does not justify the quality.
Timeshare Rep: Hmmm. How about I reduce the payment to $2,199 for 54 months. You can even invite your friends and relatives to rent it out and reduce your cost.
Customer: Let me think about it later.
Timeshare Rep: Okay. How about $1,799 for 48 months? I'll even throw in free maintenance and free lunches at the on-site bistro for 3 months.
Customer: I still need more time to consider this.
Timeshare Rep: You're breaking my balls here. $1,499 for 42 months, plus all of the benefits, and free heating?
Customer: Alright, fine. I'll buy an apartment.
Timeshare Rep: Great! Now sign on the dotted line before my 100 minute presentation is up (hands over a document).
Customer: (signng the document) Now what if I change my mind and decide to cancel my payment, do I get refunded?
Timeshare Rep: Um.....no. In fact, by signing up, you are now required to pay $2,899 up front, plus a $7,345 utility instalation fee, $13,500 pet-chauffer service, and a $1,766 asteroid-impact insurance fee.
Customer: Fuck.
Timeshare Rep: Thank you for purchasing a Quazi Glam property. Here's a complementary ticket to Jamal's Flea Market. Have a nice day. Sucker.
by sarcastic June 11, 2006
Get the Timesharemug. succubus
An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.
This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.
An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.
This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.
If you end up getting assraped in divorce court, and the legal system forces you to hand over everything you worked hard for your entire life to your ex-wife, and you end up paying alimony for children that are not even yours, you probably married a sucubus.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
Get the sucubusmug. by sarcastic September 1, 2003
Get the life insurancemug.