sarcastic's definitions
A hydrocarbon-based, flammable, highly-polluting liquid formed as a result of millions of years of decaying sediment composed of dead microscopic animals. This fossil fuel is the lifeblood of our Industrial civilization, and for as long as it can be cheaply extracted, we are hopelessly dependent upon it for transportation, agriculture, electricity, fashion, chemicals, fertilizers, cosmetics, plastics, medical, and technological needs.
Unfortunately for us, the geologists, analysts, mathematicians, and former oil-company employees have all repeatedly come up with proof that our oil supply will be almost gone by the end of the 21st century, and that oil production will peak within a few years from now, if it hasn't already sone so.
After it peaks the oil will then become more expensive to extract than to use. And immediately after that, prices will soar, businesses will shut down, people will panic like animals, economies will collapse, wars will break out, blood will soak the ground, and billions of people will die horrible deaths as our species shrinks back to the population of the 1700s, or even that of Medieval times.
All because of that cursed, smelly brown muck that was once found oozing from the round.
Unfortunately for us, the geologists, analysts, mathematicians, and former oil-company employees have all repeatedly come up with proof that our oil supply will be almost gone by the end of the 21st century, and that oil production will peak within a few years from now, if it hasn't already sone so.
After it peaks the oil will then become more expensive to extract than to use. And immediately after that, prices will soar, businesses will shut down, people will panic like animals, economies will collapse, wars will break out, blood will soak the ground, and billions of people will die horrible deaths as our species shrinks back to the population of the 1700s, or even that of Medieval times.
All because of that cursed, smelly brown muck that was once found oozing from the round.
Our religious belief that our oil supply is infinite will be the death of billions of us when Nature eventually forces us to see how wrong we are. Too bad we STILL haven't advanced our alternative fuel sources to prepare for that inevitable day when the last drop of cheap oil can be extracted.
by sarcastic March 3, 2004
Get the oil mug.An centuries-old but effective economic/cultural system of control in which a person who is born in a certain class is forced to live out his/her entire life in that class. Still being used by India.
What the modern Capitalism-based American economic system really is, since the citizens of the Middle, Lower, and Poverty classes are forced to spend their entire lives working for less and less money, while being tricked by the Upper and Wealthy classes into believing that their dreams will come true if they work hard enough.
What the modern Capitalism-based American economic system really is, since the citizens of the Middle, Lower, and Poverty classes are forced to spend their entire lives working for less and less money, while being tricked by the Upper and Wealthy classes into believing that their dreams will come true if they work hard enough.
by sarcastic March 29, 2004
Get the caste mug.Modern Definition: An American tradition where people gorge on turkey until they puke and visit their relatives to eat even more turkey. Usually the stores start to get flooded with Christmas shoppers at this time.
Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
Real meaning: Originally celebrated by the Pilgrims (early north-American settlers) as a remembrance of the time when they took full advantage of the local Native American tribes' knowledge of the land, invited them all over to a feast, slaughtered them all the next day, settled on their land, and looked westward to the vast, unconquered land that lay ahead of them.
by sarcastic November 26, 2003
Get the Thanksgiving mug.This pyramid scheme/Multi-Level Marketing cult is also known as Quickstar or Quixtar.
This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.
This cult reaps huge profits from making expensive motivational videoes/tapes and numerous seminars which basically try to convince you to purchase even more motivational videoes/tapes. To even make a profit from selling their ridiculously EXPENSIVE product line, you have to already have a shitload of money, preferrably in the hundred$ of thou$and$, which is why they have celebrities and sports-stars promoting their crap.
I made the terrible mistake of attending an Amway/Quickstar seminar last week. 146 minutes of my life wasted listening to a bunch of rich white people preaching religious sermons about how their products will "change your life" if you purchase their motivational crap in order to become even more interested in their cult and their pricey products.
by sarcastic June 20, 2004
Get the Amway mug.Proof that oil and water DO mix after all.
This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
This nasty-tasting, solidified soy oil is used as a substitute for real cheese, which at least has nutrition and is ACTUALLY digestible.
I made the terrible mistake of buying American cheese (hey, it cost half as much as Cheddar). The next day, I woke up with explosive diarrhea because that shit just went right through my digestive tract.
by sarcastic December 17, 2003
Get the American cheese mug.The perpetual trademark of our species. The random and unpredictable state of mind that causes and governs wars, unwanted pregnancies, political actions, divorces, ripoffs, reality TV shows, copycat crimes, cults, self-injury, and lawsuits.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
Since the stupid in our midst are breeding uncontrollably while the intelligent minority are dying out, one can easily predict that our stupidity will far outpace our technological progress within a few decades, and propel us back to the Stone Age or extinction with in a few centuries.
by sarcastic December 13, 2003
Get the Stupidity mug.What a crock of bullshit! Basically it is either;
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
1) A clever lie designed by the rich to trick the poor into (a) working longer hours for less pay, and to (b) purchase a shitload of useless material goods and services, both of which help give the rich more wealth while further impoverishing the poor.
or
2) Taking over other nations by force, stealing their resources, and installing puppet governments that control the flow of resources to America while destroying the cultures and infrastructure of said conquered nations.
The American Dream is to work 60 hours a week for minimum wage, spiral downwards into debt as a result of being stupid enough to get credit cards and to spend what little money you have on shiny, expensive products that are useless in value and function.
by sarcastic April 2, 2004
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