56 definitions by sarcastic

An incredibly funny comedian who hosts his own show on Comedy Central. Even though his humor caters more towards urban Black-Americans, the sheer talent of Dave, and his wide variety of sketches makes his show well worth it for anyone to watch.
Next, on the Dave Chappelle Show, we focus on the days when "Keepin' It Real" goes horribly wrong.
by sarcastic March 29, 2004
A hypocritical organization that will never be successful in the Arctic regions, Siberia, New Zealand, the desert regions of Australia, Muslim-dominated countries, China, Scotland, Iceland, and the developing nations of Africa, Asia, Central America, or South America.

Also notice that the People of Ethical Treatment of Animals seem to favor the cute, cuddly-wuddly, furry animals. What about the insects and arachnids? What about the fish, mollusks, and crustaceans? What about the bacteria? What about the reptiles? What about humans? Don't they all have rights too? Would it be animal cruelty if one washes with antibacterial soap?

The PETA is also actively funding a dog-genocide campaign in which any canine suspected to belong to the Pittbull variety (a loveable, family-friendly, loyal dog that is safe with children IF TRAINED PROPERLY) is immediately taken from the owner and killed. Doesn't matter if the dog is half-Pittbull, 1/32 Pittbull, or looks like a Pittbull, the poor pooch will be marked for death.

Ethical Treatment my ass.
The campaigns of the PETA organization will fail miserably in the developing nations of Africa, Asia, and South America because the people there, who for centuries have traditionally used animals as a primary mode of transportation, source of food, and method for planting/ploughing/harvesting crops, cannot afford to let their livestock roam free.

For every time the PETA pisses off humanity, I celebrate by barbecuing a steak or ribs.
by sarcastic June 15, 2004
AOL
While the service does suck dogshit, and is incredibly slow at times, and is full of glitches, the REAL fun comes when you are cancelling your membership, because the representatives will do anything to keep you using the AOL service, and they don't seem to understand the word "NO".
Joe: I would like to cancel my AOL membership.
AOL Rep: Why?
Joe: I have found AOL to be expensive for my budget and I am switching to a cheaper alternative instead.
AOL Rep: $28 a month is not expesive!
Joe: It is when you are a college student, and if NetZero and Juno are offering the same Internet package for $15 a month.
AOL Rep: Alright. How about we just sign you to our Netscape plan for $19.99?
Joe: No thank you.
AOL Rep: Um....how about you tell us exactly how long you will not be using AOL?
Joe: Not ever again.
AOL Rep: You know, you are ruining my chance to get another pay bonus.
Joe: And I could care less. Please just cancel my account already.
AOL Rep: Shit! he's not as gullible as we thought.....did I just say that out loud?
Joe: Yup.
by sarcastic August 21, 2004
Disrespected folks who actually contributed to the founding America. You can still see the influence of French culture in the Southeastern United States, where one of the biggest Mardi Gras celebrations are held in Louisiana.
America literally wouldn't be half the country it is now without the French.
by sarcastic May 27, 2003
oil
A hydrocarbon-based, flammable, highly-polluting liquid formed as a result of millions of years of decaying sediment composed of dead microscopic animals. This fossil fuel is the lifeblood of our Industrial civilization, and for as long as it can be cheaply extracted, we are hopelessly dependent upon it for transportation, agriculture, electricity, fashion, chemicals, fertilizers, cosmetics, plastics, medical, and technological needs.

Unfortunately for us, the geologists, analysts, mathematicians, and former oil-company employees have all repeatedly come up with proof that our oil supply will be almost gone by the end of the 21st century, and that oil production will peak within a few years from now, if it hasn't already sone so.
After it peaks the oil will then become more expensive to extract than to use. And immediately after that, prices will soar, businesses will shut down, people will panic like animals, economies will collapse, wars will break out, blood will soak the ground, and billions of people will die horrible deaths as our species shrinks back to the population of the 1700s, or even that of Medieval times.

All because of that cursed, smelly brown muck that was once found oozing from the round.
Our religious belief that our oil supply is infinite will be the death of billions of us when Nature eventually forces us to see how wrong we are. Too bad we STILL haven't advanced our alternative fuel sources to prepare for that inevitable day when the last drop of cheap oil can be extracted.
by sarcastic March 03, 2004
succubus

An old Scottish word for a female demon who feeds by attatching herself to an unfortunate male and draining his life-force. Using sex and psychological torture, she forces the man to devote his entire energy towards satisfying her short-term desires. When she has her fill, she discards what is left of him by the wayside and seeks other males to exploit.

This definition also perfctly describes 99% of Western women, ESPECIALLY American women.
If you end up getting assraped in divorce court, and the legal system forces you to hand over everything you worked hard for your entire life to your ex-wife, and you end up paying alimony for children that are not even yours, you probably married a sucubus.
by sarcastic May 29, 2004
A media form that politicians, religious nuts, and soccer moms have tried in vain to control. Whatever is posted here is free for the taking, whether it be MP3s, porn, warez, or software.
The sex industry owns the Internet now.
by sarcastic June 23, 2003

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