A Lucretia is a pseudo-hipster who is purposely more uncool than a hipster and thus cooler than most of your friends. She constantly uses sarcasm facetiously when she actually means what she's saying, and if can't keep up with her double-layered wit, you're not uncool enough to hang out with her.
Guy #1: Oh man, that girl's making fun of your bow tie.
Guy #2: No she digs it; she's a Lucretia.
The way "drunk" is typed to simulate drunkenly slurred speech -- but more likely you're just too drunk to spell and should probably put your phone down. It's like an onomatopoeia, but for text messaging.
Greenwyrm is absinthe infuesed with THC from marijuana. It is green dragon made from high-proof absinthe rather than 151 rum, grain alcohol, or the like -- hence the name 'wyrm' inspired by the wormwood in absinthe.
THC is alcohol soluible, so soaking or heating ground marijuana in highly alcoholic liquids infuses the liquid with THC. Made properly, weed edibles and drinkables waste less THC than when the plant is smoked, but its potency is still dependant on the amount and quality of marijuana that is used.
Friend's text: "The universe is coming apart, and I gotta say, I'm not really enjoying it."
Response: "Maybe a little less greenwyrm next time..."