rhythmjunky's definitions

Quantitative cheesing

The consumption of large amounts of dairy product.

Patient: "I'm massively lactose intolerant; what can I do?"
Doctor: "I recommend a course of quantitative cheesing."
Patient: "But... isn't that going to make things worse?"
Doctor: "Yep!"

by RhythmJunky August 16, 2010

Shitlock

Constipation.

"Why are you walking like you shat yourself?"

"Man, I wish. I think I've got terminal shitlock here."

by RhythmJunky November 23, 2009

Ground Zero

The close proximity around a person who has just expelled exceedingly unpleasant gases from their anal passage. Also the site of splashdown while offloading previous meals into the toilet.

"I'd give it five minutes mate, it's Ground Zero in there."

"Oh god, sorry mate, it's Ground Zero in my pants" (wafts in colleagues' face)

by RhythmJunky April 4, 2009

Thrown kebab

A lady's bits that are extremely loose and resemble a doner kebab that has been thrown across quite some distance. The most extreme kebab reference - Kebab being normal, Dropped Kebab next and then Thrown Kebab.

"Turns out that ropey girl I pulled last night had a thrown kebab, so I had to bail!"

by RhythmJunky October 20, 2008

Brown Midas

A person whose touch, rather than turning everything to gold, turns everything to shit.

"How the hell does that guy stay in a job? He relentlessly heads up shit pile after shit pile."

"No idea mate. Proper brown midas going on there."

by rhythmjunky February 12, 2013

Hot flush

The action of flushing a lavatory containing a particularly spicy or offensive deposit that has likely raised the temperature of the water due to it's Scoville scale. Can also result from external factors such as Upper Decking.

Peter parked a spicy tiger which resulted in an emergency hot flush preventing imminent pan meltdown.

by RhythmJunky July 27, 2010

Brownian Motion

The random growling noises caused by the gut that warn the growlee a bathroom visit is imminent.

Colleague: "Jesus, that sounded like a tank driving past."

Growlee: "Actually that's just some Brownian Motion going down. I'm a ticking time bomb."

by RhythmJunky May 11, 2009