9 definitions by officialpyrocynical

I hope she sees this bro

Phrase to use when a man's been simping. When a man, usually unattractive, publicly tweets at, or otherwise contacts, a girl who is usually out of their league with excessive compliments and/or the offering of money, you hit them with this. Anyone who received this phrase should automatically lose your respect. Stay away.

Tweet from @SoylentIsAwesome:
@pokimanelol
You're amazing, stunning. I want to give you money. What's your cashapp?
Tweet from @ChadBenja:
@SoylentIsAwesome
I hope she sees this bro.

by officialpyrocynical May 28, 2020

digital carcinogen

The digital equivalent of a carcinogen

Buzzfeed is a digital carcinogen

by officialpyrocynical April 1, 2020

Woke and broke

A term to describe a grown adult with no source of reliable income, living in their parents' house, whose favourite hobby is retweeting Huffington Post articles off their mother's computer.

Jason is a woke and broke. He sits on his ass all day, tweeting about how funny he thinks Amy Schumer is and how Donald Trump is bad from his mother's computer. Whenever someone tweets at him saying, "Why don't you run for office, then?" he blocks them, not bothering to tell them how worthless he is.

by officialpyrocynical May 29, 2020

Covitician

A person who uses a virus, such as COVID-19, as a weapon against their political enemies. These people can range in reach from Joe Six-Pack shitposting on his Facebook wall from his local McDonald's in Little Rock, to members of congress.

Don't be a covitician, people.

by officialpyrocynical March 30, 2020

Frenglish

English spoken in a bad French accent, with a few French words thrown in.

1. (talking about slamming a bottle on the table in anger)
Francois: I slam zhe "bouteille" on zhe table, for I will not stand for zhis. Zhe "verre" went everywhere, and I had to clean.
John: I'm reporting you for domestic abuse. That's not ok.
Francois: What?
John: Slamming her ass on a table?
Francois: Nonononono! It's a "bouteille"! For beer!
John: Why are you speaking in Frenglish?
2. (when talking about a mismanaged bank account)

Lois: Zhat count is wrong. I have more zhan zhis in my "compte bancaire". She is "stupide", and I will pound her wizh zhe law.
Andy: You're going to pound the banker with WHAT?
Lois: Zhe law! I will contact her wizh a request for the "tribunal".
Andy: This sounds like a really weird way to describe picking up women...

by officialpyrocynical April 2, 2020

Racism BTFO

This phrase is used when someone makes a disparaging and/or racist comment about the majority racial group, and tries to cover up by saying that it was intended to fight racism. Like many other terms intended to denounce "woke" content, this phrase is meant to be perceived with sarcasm, and its users don't actually believe the target has done anything to fight racism. BTFO, meaning "Blown The Fuck Out", also fits next to other terms which describe bigotry, such as sexism or misogyny.

(revised definition)

In light of the death of George Floyd in Minnesota, an employee at BuzzFeed made an article on how in order to stop racism in America, white people need to "integrate". Racism BTFO.

by officialpyrocynical May 30, 2020

E-Girl

An E-Girl is a girl who takes advantage of innocent men online. She gives men a false view of how the world works. By getting men to pay her for pictures or other favours, she's perpetuating the myth that the average woman likes a feminine man who essentially worships her. (a simp) If this trend is not broken, one could project the birth rate to fall as men increasingly have no idea what women want.

Jake: I found a cool E-Girl yesterday.

Matthew: E-Girls are dangerous, man. They suck your masculinity away.

by officialpyrocynical March 30, 2020