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od smith's definitions

England Header Rule

A rarely exercised rule in football where it doesn't matter if a player is committing common assault on the goalkeeper (which is known in the rulebook as a "foul"), the headed goal is legitimate because an England player scored from it - because, as we all know, England deserve to win every match they'r ein because they'r ebetter than everyone. Any referee that doesn't know this is obviously a complete idiot that cannot do his job properly, and therefore deserving of death threats.
Sol Campbell vs Argentina, 1998.
Sol Campbell vs Portugal, 2004.
by OD Smith March 22, 2005
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pete doherty

Purveyor of bland, same-old same-old indie crap that isn't particularly memorable, but it's OK! He's more famous for being a drugged-up wannabe burglar.
Can anyone actually hum a single Libertines tune?
by OD Smith March 23, 2005
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Rational American Thinking

The simplistic logic system of Bush supporters and other morons - apparently you have to trust him because he's President (even though 49% of the US population didn't vote for him), and anyone who criticises America is either jealous of their greatness, embittered French people who surrender all too easily, or a member of the global al-Qu'eda network.
by OD Smith March 23, 2005
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Natasha Bedingfield

Irritating sister of Daniel, and purveyor of identikit, disposable pop crap that you forget about five seconds after the song ends. Doesn't even have the saving grace of being worth a centrefold in FHM.
"These words are my own, from my heart,
I love you, I love you, I love you..."
by OD Smith March 23, 2005
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I Feel Sick

A two-issue comic series from Jhonen Vasquez, focusing on Devi from JTHM's struggles as a comic book artist against a wall of ignorant editors (probably reflecting Nickelodeon's attitude to Invader Zim) and her rather unfortunate lovelife. Also features a cameo from Nny.

By the way, whisper it, it's his best (comic) work to date. Now go squeeze your Mister Spooky!
Tenna: "Soooo, how's your spleen?"
Devi: "It's doin' good."
Tenna: "Now that I've guided you into a more casual state of mind with my ninja-like precision, you wanna tell me what's wrong?"
by OD Smith March 24, 2005
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ultraspank

California five-piece that had two albums (Ultraspank and Progress) on Sony, before splitting up due to not being simplistic enough to appeal to Middle America.

Shame, since they were rather damn good...even though you got weird looks in HMV when asking for their CDs.
Go on Amazon, for God's sake...
by OD Smith March 29, 2005
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microsoft access

An absolutly evil database programme, which serves no purpose other than driving you clinically insane at a remarkably quick pace.

Never used in the workplace, so it's ppointless to be taught how to use it in GCSE or A-Level IT.
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH FUCK!!! Why won't it recognise this goddamn formula like a normal person?!?"
by OD Smith March 29, 2005
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