od smith's definitions

the game

The latest in a long line of poseur rappers to fall off the burgeoning production line with generic gangsta cliches spilling from his mouth at every turn, who'd be nothing if he didn't have 50 Cent and Doctor Dre singing his praises (although the former decided to stop because he forgot to act all tough or something and complimented another rapper - fucking children that they are).

Doesn't get his name from watching WWE wrestling. Honest.

"I'm a white boy that wants to act tough, so I'll buy The Game's CD and only listen to How We Do on repeat play."

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

cotswolds

A nice part of the English countryside with some stunning views, ruined by having Cheltenham smack bang in the middle of it, proclaiming itself to be "Heart of the Cotswolds".

The Cotswolds is a pretty good example, if you think about it...

by OD Smith February 21, 2005

ES40

The least charming aspect from those charmless fuckers at New Deal.

Whenever you get an increase in your benefits, be it when you're placed on a six month course or turn 25, you will receive one of these in the mail. It states that you didn't apply for one of the shitty jobs they gave you without your consent three months ago (every time), and that if you do not explain why, you will have that hard earned £20 extra taken from you.

Basically, they hope you get so pissed off you write "Fuck you" on the slip, at which point they'll cancel your claim.

"Why did you not apply for a job that is three hours travel for you with a wage that does not cover travel expenses? We want our money back, just because we're a bunch of wankers who can't do our jobs properly, so should be in your place."

by OD Smith April 15, 2005

Brooklyn Beckham

Stupid name for a child with stupid parents. You know the kid will need counselling after the huge amount of bullying he'll receive at school - and that's before the kids remember who his parents are...

"Thank you Mummy and Daddy for not conceiving me in Scunthorpe."

by OD Smith March 31, 2005

george w bush

1. The man who puts the "USA" into sausage.
2. Illiterate hick.
3. Psychopath, especially when it comes to the Arab world.
4. Warmonger.
5. Tony Blair's owner.
6. The man who's sole purpose is to rip up the US Constitution for his own ends.

Afghanistan, Iraq, and whichever of Iran or Syria he fancies bombing in about July 2005. When not turning that hatred onto his own people via the Patriot Act and numerous other acts of legislation.

by OD Smith March 11, 2005

Ketamine

A, frankly, boring drug that you have to snort in enormous amounts to get into a k hole, but more often than not you'll sneeze after a couple of nostrils full and revert back to normal, feeling ripped off.

Besides, who the hell first thought that it would be a good idea to snort animal tranquilisers in the first place?!? There's a place for special k, and it's Battersea Dogs' Home.

I think we need to take Lassie to the vet.
I think we need to get monged at the vet.
I think we should let Lassie get monged at the vet.

by OD Smith March 10, 2005

SEETEC

So you survived you advisor treating you like an ignorant skiver, lived through Gateway to Work - hey, you even gutted out being jammed in CETS for a large chunk of the year, but don't think that's the last thing New Deal have to throw at you like a brick. No, then they stick you in SEETEC for 13 weeks, where you are stuck doing all the same exercises you did on Gateway and at CETS once more for two out of the three hours you're supposed to be there, therefore meaning you can't actually apply for a job to get the hell out of there. They don't even increase your benefits for your duration this time.

Wait, I got through all the shit off my advisor, Gateway to Work AND six months at CETS, and you're sticking me in SEETEC where all that crap I already "learned" TWICE is regurgitated once more, despite being pointless and meaningless at this point?!?

by OD Smith September 26, 2005