od smith's definitions

crazy frog

Somebody asking to have their mobile wrenched from their grasp so it can be flung into a deep fat frier.

"I hear the world's most irritating ringtone, and must destroy something immediatly. Preferably the phone it's emanating from. Maybe the owner as well."

by OD Smith April 19, 2005

cets

1. A place where embittered and unhelpful wastes of time work, telling you how to get a shitty job and deny you the opportunity to work where you want. This ignores the fact that they were on a course there and had no chance of getting a job themselves, so decided to work there and generally take out their frustrations on the poor sods stuck there.

2. Home of most New Deal courses, unemployable chavs and bigots, and an overhanging sense of despair.

"For the next six months you will be placed at the nearest CETS Centre and patronised until you can't be fucked to play along, while surrounded by ignorance on a scale not seen since the last BNP conference." (paraphrased, of course)

by OD Smith March 15, 2005

the matrix

1. A hugely overrated film, with two sequels that even the die-hards couldn't love - even if they did when they watched the trailer.

2. The only computer game less interactive than Myst.

3. Proof positive people want to add non-meanings and subtext to whatever film they like in order to sound intelligent, despite watching an exceedingly dumb film 20,000 times.

Just do a Google search...

by OD Smith February 16, 2005

SEETEC

So you survived you advisor treating you like an ignorant skiver, lived through Gateway to Work - hey, you even gutted out being jammed in CETS for a large chunk of the year, but don't think that's the last thing New Deal have to throw at you like a brick. No, then they stick you in SEETEC for 13 weeks, where you are stuck doing all the same exercises you did on Gateway and at CETS once more for two out of the three hours you're supposed to be there, therefore meaning you can't actually apply for a job to get the hell out of there. They don't even increase your benefits for your duration this time.

Wait, I got through all the shit off my advisor, Gateway to Work AND six months at CETS, and you're sticking me in SEETEC where all that crap I already "learned" TWICE is regurgitated once more, despite being pointless and meaningless at this point?!?

by OD Smith September 26, 2005

nicky hilton

The better looking, non-irritating and far less overexposed sister of Paris Hilton.

Actually, I find Nicky Hilton to be better looking than Paris, and not so bloody irritating.

by OD Smith February 23, 2005

Arctic Junkies

Overly defensive (and scarily so) acolytes at the altar of that grating, banal band that we're told we must like on pain of death, The Arctic Monkeys.

"You're an idiot because you don't like The Arctic Monkeys, and I say so as a fan of The Arctic Monkeys so therefore I'm right", and other such bilge from the mouths/keyboards of Arctic Junkies.

by OD Smith June 4, 2007

Jurassic Park

A pretty good book, a pretty average film, and some pretty bad sequels.

Welcome to Hollywood, ladies and gentlemen...

"Wait a minute, why did Crichton's follow up book, The Lost World, seem to change what happened to most of the characters to fit in with the events of the first film?"

by OD Smith April 12, 2005