neil baxter's definitions
Lai-djunn n.
One who speaks in inverted commas or italics, i.e. to sound unintentionally sarcastic at all times irrespective of whatever degree of sincerity might might be intended.
(Named after John Lydon a.k.a. 'Johnny Rotten').
One who speaks in inverted commas or italics, i.e. to sound unintentionally sarcastic at all times irrespective of whatever degree of sincerity might might be intended.
(Named after John Lydon a.k.a. 'Johnny Rotten').
"My dear... I really 'enjoyed' that meal... I can honestly say that it was the 'finest meal' I have eaten for days."
"Sir - may I take it that you are a Lydon... for if so, I do not appreciate the jest!"
"Nay madam, I jest not... and your culinary skill is only surpassed by your unfading beauty."
"Ye git - now I know you're taking the piss!"
From "The Importance Of Being Sarcastic" By Oscar Wired.
"Sir - may I take it that you are a Lydon... for if so, I do not appreciate the jest!"
"Nay madam, I jest not... and your culinary skill is only surpassed by your unfading beauty."
"Ye git - now I know you're taking the piss!"
From "The Importance Of Being Sarcastic" By Oscar Wired.
by Neil Baxter October 12, 2005

The Police, modified from the popular term for police, 'pigs'.
The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...
"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"
"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."
The cause of much hilarity, the police have been comedy targets throughout the world for years...
"How many police officers does it take to break an egg?"
"None... the egg fell down the stairs of it's own accord!"
"I always wanted to be a policeman, but I failed the criteria... my mother and father are married."
"Oink Oink... do you smell bacon?"
"What do you mean... oh yes... here come the bacon brigade! Oy streaky!"
"What do you mean... oh yes... here come the bacon brigade! Oy streaky!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005

1.Englishman with a neatly trimmed beard who looks relatively smart, although there's something outlandish in his dress code, such as cowboy boots or a shirt that TOTALLY doesn't match.
2. A drama student or 'wit' who exclaims 'odd bodkins' for no reason.
3. A pole for poking clay with.
Named after Timothy Claypole from the old kid's t.v. show 'Rentaghost'.
2. A drama student or 'wit' who exclaims 'odd bodkins' for no reason.
3. A pole for poking clay with.
Named after Timothy Claypole from the old kid's t.v. show 'Rentaghost'.
"I say Carruthers... look at Smythe there... the suit's definitely Saville Row, but the tie's just GOT to be Primark... what a complete Claypole!"
by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005

The offspring of a pig and a frog... basically the child of Kermit and Miss Piggy.
Also known as a 'frig' or a 'pog'.
The friglet is a delicacy amongst the French (even though they'll basically eat anything) yet is hard to catch: although it's grunts can be heard for miles, the little critter can jump 27 feet at a time, therefore anyone who's ever caught one is often referred to as being 'a lucky frigger'.
Also known as a 'frig' or a 'pog'.
The friglet is a delicacy amongst the French (even though they'll basically eat anything) yet is hard to catch: although it's grunts can be heard for miles, the little critter can jump 27 feet at a time, therefore anyone who's ever caught one is often referred to as being 'a lucky frigger'.
"Kermie... I want for us to settle down and have friglets"
"Oh but Piggy... we've gotten low ceilings... surely they'll hurt themselves?"
"Hmm... you're right... forget it... let's just have a zany adventure featuring some famous folks instead!"
From 'Muppet & Muppettability' by Austin Jayne.
"Oh but Piggy... we've gotten low ceilings... surely they'll hurt themselves?"
"Hmm... you're right... forget it... let's just have a zany adventure featuring some famous folks instead!"
From 'Muppet & Muppettability' by Austin Jayne.
by Neil Baxter October 8, 2005

z.nerr-ch
To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.
This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.
To sniff back a noseful of snot because either you haven't got a handkerchief or you're just too lazy to blow your nose.
This is the opposite of a "Pitmon's Hankie", whereby you press a thumb or finger against a nostril and blow forth snot through the other one onto the pavement.
"Stop snurching and blow your nose you derty get... I'm trying to eat me dinner here!"
From "Biggles Grebs Aloft" by Monty W. Bungingham
From "Biggles Grebs Aloft" by Monty W. Bungingham
by Neil Baxter December 28, 2005

by Neil Baxter October 4, 2005

Kwiid-itch, n.
1. Fictional Sport in the 'Harry Potter' novels involving bats, balls, brooms and C.G.I. effects - no doubt to be frowned upon when some daft bugger emulates it and falls to his/her doom on discovering they can't really fly.
2. The type of sneeze that starts in the nostrils, causing one to clamp one's teeth and close the mouth, resulting in sneezing a large clod of snot into one's hand that's in such a vast amount that it can't be wiped onto one's clothing discreetly.
1. Fictional Sport in the 'Harry Potter' novels involving bats, balls, brooms and C.G.I. effects - no doubt to be frowned upon when some daft bugger emulates it and falls to his/her doom on discovering they can't really fly.
2. The type of sneeze that starts in the nostrils, causing one to clamp one's teeth and close the mouth, resulting in sneezing a large clod of snot into one's hand that's in such a vast amount that it can't be wiped onto one's clothing discreetly.
"Quidditch" Ron exclaimed.
"Yeah," said Harry, closing his potions book. "I'm tired of studying... let's go and have some practice before Saturday's match".
Ron looked sheepish and attempted a grin. "Sorry mate" he said red-faced, "I just sneezed... you ain't got a tissue have you?"
from "Harry Potter and the HalfBaked Plot" by K.J. Growling
"Yeah," said Harry, closing his potions book. "I'm tired of studying... let's go and have some practice before Saturday's match".
Ron looked sheepish and attempted a grin. "Sorry mate" he said red-faced, "I just sneezed... you ain't got a tissue have you?"
from "Harry Potter and the HalfBaked Plot" by K.J. Growling
by Neil Baxter October 12, 2005
