Having a one night stand, then taking a shit on your sleeping partner's chest before leaving.
"What happened with that girl you hooked up with last night?"
"She passed out half way through, so I gave her a Cleaveland Steamer and took off"
Taking a shit in the upper tank of a toilet. Also known as "2000 Flushes Brown" and "The Gift That Keeps On Giving"
The people at that fondue party were such fuckin' pricks that I had no choice but to give 'em the old upper tanker.
The brooding, depressing feeling that overtakes you upon realizing that the object of your desire doesn't return your affection.
"When Captain Whiskers ran away from home I was so heartbroken....."
"I thought everything was going great, and then she suggested that I meet her boyfriend because she thought we would get along really well. I was pretty heartbroken."
"I became very heartbroken when the girl I had a crush on told me every painful, depraved, and humiliating detail of her sexual history."
A great arcade game which involved killing everything in sight. I think it might have had something to do with drugs. Also, the Pixies covered the theme song.
"My parents feared for my future because I thought running down crackheads with a corvette was fun."