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19 definitions by mike in aurora, colorado

 
1.
Derived from the Comedy Central show, South Park. In a good portion of the episodes, Eric Cartman (a.k.a Cartman), expresses the desire to, "Kick someone square in the nuts!". However, in a strong minority of the episodes mentioned, a distant Southern American accent can be heard. For example, Cartman says, "Ah will kick yew squaw (square) in the noots (nuts)!" Hence, 'noots', is just another word pertaining to the testicles. Also to be used, with punity, in conjuction with the following for direct reference: nuts, balls, beans, nards, nads, double plums, sperm compounds, or any number of other words that relate directly to testicles. Most often used in regards to doing some form of blunt harm to the same.
When Cartman Found Out About A Conspiracy By His Mother To Get Him Infected With Chicken Pox: "Oh, man! I'm going go downstairs and kick her 'squaw in the noots'!"

Bad Drug Deal: "Yo' G! That mother fucker sold me some bad H, man! I'm gonna cut off his noots!!"

Sex and the City Conversation: "He was really into it and got really turned on when I started playing with his 'noots'!"
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 09, 2008
 
2.
1.) Pertains to the penetration of a female's vagina and then the anus by an erect penis on an alternating basis. Normally, it starts with first vaginal penetration, then anal, then vaginal again, and so forth. The duration can vary in length of either orafice, although it is standard to only apply this term to short durations for the same. (about three to ten seconds of actual penetration of either orafice before withdrawal of the penis for the intent of penetrating the adjacent orafice). * Warning: Should only be attempted with either a condom, regular physical check ups, and/or, with a singular partner relationship three to five years in progress.
Sexual Intent: "I wanna do a 'subway transfer' on that chick!"

Hemorrhoids: "I wouldn't have had such a huge 'rhoid if my husband didn't pull a 'subway transfer' on my ass all the time!"

Harmful Notion: "Man! That bitch is going pay for her stuff with a 'subway transfer' by me!"
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 13, 2008
 
3.
1.) A very specialized method of stimulating not only the prostate, but surrounding items as well, such as muscles, nerves, tissues, blood, and a slew of the same near the anus. It involves either a normally erect penis, finger, medical stimulating electrode, dildo, racketball, or any other item that can apply a fair amount of pressure to the said area: chode; the pubic region between the bottom of the testicles all the way down to the lower edge of the anus. The object of the sexual partner or self gratification: masturbation is to produce either sensations to obtain an erection for the purpose of other forms of sexual pursuits. However, if constant impact of either an erect penis or otherwise is persistent, it may well result in not only a very active center of nerves and sexual organs, but may well achieve an explosive orgasm. 2.) The act of chode probing, or, any act of the same nature as outlined in detail in 1.).
Gay Sex: "No penetration, just a wonderful 'chode probe'!"

Hetrosexual Encounter: "Raul wasn't very excited until I pulled out my largest, life like, dildo and pounded him silly until he came five minutes later. Raul really loves his 'chode probes'!"

Introspective Literary Work: He kept slamming his sister's huge dildo against his 'chode' area for almost an hour. Finally, he pounded heavier and faster than before. As he came, the satisfied man realized that his 'chode probe' had definitely paid off!"
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 27, 2008
 
4.
1.) Description of a person that is either too stupid or too arrogant to wear a condom when performing sex or when about to perform the same. 2.) A really stupid convict or an ex-con, denoted for being extremely idiotic or devoid of common sense.
Sex: "If you think that I am gonna let you stick that thing in without protection, then you are a real 'condumb'! Better get reacquainted with your hand!!"

Gangs: "Boo Boo Bear got popped by the cops for something really stupid. He's a real 'condumb'!"

Prison: "Harry the Hun got parole, but he got into trouble again on the outside, so he's back. Whadda a 'condumb'!"
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 24, 2008
 
5.
Is when a person is involuntarily accosted sexually, normally in the form of oral sex, generally referred to when it is the female initiating the act while she is awake and her male target is asleep. Although the scenario thus described is the most common usage, it does have derivatives and alternative sexual encounters that relate to the same. 1.) When an awake female performs oral sex, or fellatio, on a male when he is asleep. 2.) Any sexual situation that is perpetuated by a waking party, or parties, as the sexual target is accosted. 3.) Having an orgasm during a 'night freak' session, whether awake or asleep, when climax occurs. It is often a reciprocal statement of the obvious.
After a female pulls such a stunt on a sleeping male: "Whoa! I couldn't believe that such a church going girl like Linda would pull a 'night freak' on me like that!"

When a guy awakes during a 'night freak' and cums: "Oh, God! I just 'night freaked', baby!"

A gay encounter: "I thought he was just dreamy and he shot out buckets and howled like a wolf when I did a 'night freak' on him! Whadda guy!!"
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado April 29, 2008
 
6.
1.) In direct reference to the loss of a dental filling during, and as a result of, oral sex, almost in conjuction with fellatio, (oral and penial contact). 2.) Can also be used to describe a bad relationship, whether sexual or plutonic in nature. 3.) May also be used to describe something, or anything, that is negative.
Head Banging: "She went to town on me! Unfortunately, I had to comfort her while driving her to an all night dentist! We couldn't tell him that I was so wild in her mouth that it caused a 'popped lid'!"

Break Up: "I had to end it with Linda. Going out with her was a 'popped lid'!"

Parental Child Conflict: "Man! My mom is so freaked about the rave I wanted to go to that she acted so 'popped lid' about it all."

by Mike in Aurora, Colorado March 22, 2008
 
7.
1. A descriptive term referring to the sex act better known as 'doggie style' in where the male mounts a female from behind during the act, much like a canine. 2. In reference to pending sexual encounters that may, well in fact, result in the initiation of 'arf sex', as described in definition 1. 3. To describe what normally women would describe as an indiscretionary male devoid/lacking of morals, ethics and, above all, fidelity. 4. In reference to anything that is promising, however, is most likely negative in future prediction (such as in politics and corporate agendas, the military in Iraq, et al.,.)
Sex: "She and I had 'Arf Sex', and it was good!"

Potential Sex: "When she gets here and a few drinks under her belt, we'll have 'Arf Sex'.

Talking about a Playboy: "He's slick! A real 'Arf Sex' kind of guy."

Politics: "That dude talks a good game, but his track record is real 'Arf Sex'. Nothing he promises ever comes true."
by Mike in Aurora, Colorado February 07, 2008