michaeltothej's definitions

Catch 29

Like a Catch 22 but worse.

I'm in a Catch 29 situation.

You mean a Catch 22?

No, it's worse than that.

by MichaelToTheJ March 27, 2011

Ronnie Barker

Ronnie Barker was THE legend of comedy. Loads funnier than all of this American "comedy". I.e: Friends. (the only funny bit in the entire history of that programme is when Chandler walks into the spa naked and says: "So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here") Ronnie Barker is famous for the TV series' Porridge, Open All Hours ands The Two Ronnies Show. (You can watch some by typing Ronnie Barker into youtube) Even though he died last year, he died a legend.

Customer: Fork Handles

Shopkeeper: Fork Handles? (hands customer four candles)

Customer: No, fork handles. Handles for forks.

Ronnie Barker = Shopkeeper

by MichaelToTheJ May 7, 2007

Bathtub Chemist

Someone who manufactures illicit drugs in their back room, usually on a desk or in a bathtub. The conditions these drugs are made and stored in are usually very dirty and the drugs made are usually cut with various other substances (everything from cheaper drugs to talcum powder to bleach to rat poison), either because they have limited knowledge of drug manufacture and chemistry or (more likely) because they couldn't care less about the health and well-being of their prospective customers. They instead prefer to use less (or none at all) of the advertised drug per pill/dose and therefore increase profit.

A guy sold me a pill last night. He told me it was Ecstasy but it was mixed with all sorts of shit and I ended up in hospital. I'm sick of these bathtub chemists ripping me off!!

by MichaelToTheJ June 3, 2011

the door swings both ways

It works both ways - and not just the way that the person you are saying this to is describing it.

Student: "You should respect my rights, you know"

Teacher: "And you should show me some respect, if you want that. The door swings both ways."

by MichaelToTheJ June 26, 2008

Character Assassination

Character Assassination is the act of attempting to influence the portrayal or reputation of a particular person, causing others to develop an extremely negative perception of him/her. By its nature, it involves deliberate exaggeration or manipulation of facts to present an untrue picture of the targeted person.

Basically, it is spreading rumours and talking bad about somebody, to make people hate them.

1. I'm just another victim of Character Assassination.

2. The media and politicians are Character Assassins.

by MichaelToTheJ June 1, 2007

giggery

The process of playing gigs. (used when you are in a band)

1. Me and my band are bored and ready for some giggery.

by MichaelToTheJ June 27, 2007

The Romans

The Roman Empire was very powerful, especially in AD 117, when they controlled most of Europe. The emperor was Julius Caesar. (I think there were more, but I can't be bothered to list all of them.) They were very civilised, at the time, and apparently knew how to keep order.

1. Brian - "Bloody Romans"

2. Reg - "Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

by MichaelToTheJ May 29, 2007