michaeltothej's definitions

Ronnie Barker

Ronnie Barker was THE legend of comedy. Loads funnier than all of this American "comedy". I.e: Friends. (the only funny bit in the entire history of that programme is when Chandler walks into the spa naked and says: "So, I guess we wear swimsuits in here") Ronnie Barker is famous for the TV series' Porridge, Open All Hours ands The Two Ronnies Show. (You can watch some by typing Ronnie Barker into youtube) Even though he died last year, he died a legend.

Customer: Fork Handles

Shopkeeper: Fork Handles? (hands customer four candles)

Customer: No, fork handles. Handles for forks.

Ronnie Barker = Shopkeeper

by MichaelToTheJ May 7, 2007

suss

Short for 'suspect', and usually used when doing something against the rules or illegal. If you get sussed, you are suspected and subsequently caught/arrested.

1. I can't go home drunk, my mam will suss.

2. I was selling some E's to my mate, in school, but I got sussed by Mr. Blackwood.

3. Teacher: "Give me that cell phone, you shouldn't be using it in class!"

Guy 1: Dammit!!!

Guy 2: (to guy 1) Sussed!

by MichaelToTheJ March 25, 2007

APFU

As Per Fucking Usual. Something that happens all the time, and you are sick of it. Like 'As Usual/As Always' but with an angrier tone to it.

1. Aaarrggghhhh, that guy in the blue car took my parking space - APFU!!

2. APFU, I can't find my car keys.

by MichaelToTheJ December 16, 2008

the door swings both ways

It works both ways - and not just the way that the person you are saying this to is describing it.

Student: "You should respect my rights, you know"

Teacher: "And you should show me some respect, if you want that. The door swings both ways."

by MichaelToTheJ June 26, 2008

The Romans

The Roman Empire was very powerful, especially in AD 117, when they controlled most of Europe. The emperor was Julius Caesar. (I think there were more, but I can't be bothered to list all of them.) They were very civilised, at the time, and apparently knew how to keep order.

1. Brian - "Bloody Romans"

2. Reg - "Apart from the sanitation, the medicine, education, wine, public order, irrigation, roads, a fresh water system, and public health, what have the Romans ever done for us?"

by MichaelToTheJ May 29, 2007

closerly

Even more closely. Closely is when you are close to someone or something. e.g. watching something closely or being closely related to somebody.

The cop monitored the gang hideout closely, but he was monitoring the crack den closerly.

by MichaelToTheJ May 10, 2008

minefield

A slut/a girl who sleeps around. Called a minefield because a lot of men have planted their flag there; this would give the appearance of a minefield. This term also implies there is a dangerous element; you never know when you might figuratively step on a mine and get an STD.

Don't sleep with Lisa bro, she's a minefield.

by MichaelToTheJ June 5, 2013