When you feel as if you are about to break wind and just as you begin to attempt to pass it, you feel a sudden moist feeling on the edge of your butt cheeks. At this point you come to realize this may not be what you first thought it was and not wanting to turn the back of your legs into a chocolate waterfall, You snap at attention. Immediately clenching your buttcheeks tightly together to avoid any spillage and keeping a firm rigid stance, like a Buckingham Guard. With a cold sweat beginning to form and the feeling of a sharp stabbing sensation in your lower abdomen, you must continue to stay in this position until the pain subsides and you can get to a toilet.
1. As I started to pass gas, I felt a moist sensation and immediately snapped into a Buckingham Clench.
2. As I snapped into a Buckingham Clench, it was quite obvious that this was no laughing matter and despite onlookers gawking and poking and prodding at me, I knew I could not unclench or I would soil myself.
3. Not wanting to crap my pants, I immediately bore the Buckingham Clench in an attempt to hold it all in.
When you have such explosive diarrhea that is in a completely liquid form (without the lumps) and feels as if you are pissing out of your ass. There is such a strong steady stream that a passerby who hears you could easily mistaken you for taking an actual piss.
I don't know what was in that meal, but I'm sure you'll be pissing out of your ass (POOYA) for hours.
A person who knows everything and can't be told otherwise. Their stories can be old or exaggerated and can sometimes contain a morsel of truth. They often interrupt your story to tell their story because they have to be heard and can tell stories better than you. They are thirsty for attention and are known for diarrhea of the mouth. They also thrive at topping whatever you say. There is nothing that you can say or do that they haven't seen, heard or done. Simply stated, "They Know Everything"
1. Mother Goose has nothing on Rusty Mekateen, she's to fairytale-ish.
2. A grandfather was sitting around telling stories of what he has seen in all his years on this planet and the kids were really interested until little Johnny pulled a Rusty Mekateen and caught everyones attention.
3. When it came time to pick people for Trivial Pursuit, Petey asked who could best portray Rusty Mekateen.
4. Harry thought he had won the debate until I pulled a rusty mekateen and blew him away.
When you have an awful case of "swamp ass" and suddenly have the urge to take a dump. Right before you drop trow, you let a couple of farts out into the air. These farts are wet and disastrously foul in odor and have permeated from deep in the bowels. More often than not, they will cause anyone in the vicinity, sometimes even the guilty party to vomit due to the sheer and utter nauseating, horrid and atrocious stench that has emanated from a overly moist, raw and chafed ass.
1. After going out for a run on a hot day, i felt nature calling, but before I could get to the john, I served up some damp pork.
2. As bad as my rash had gotten from the awful case of swamp ass I was experiencing, I had the sudden urge to take a dump, but not before I expelled some damp pork.
3. Oh dear god, you're a sweaty disgrace and that damp pork expelling from your messy ass is making me sick, take a dump already!
When you've thrown in the towel on actually getting to the toilet because you have great abdominal pain and can't bear to hold it any longer. The pain is cramps that stem from the explosive diarrhea you are about to release. Upon exploding from the rear, the path of your dirty rectal fluid parts ways at your taint and heads in two directions down the rear of both legs creating a wishbone effect and achieving the "Dirty Wishbone".
1. Knowing I couldn't make it across the road to the bathroom, I surrendered and stood there making a "dirty wishbone".
2. While out on a hike in the woods, I felt the urge to poop and was miles from a restroom and decided to just let it out. My friend laughed at me and pointed to the back of my legs and told me I had made a "dirty wishbone".
When you've had such a terrible bout with some extremely explosive diarrhea. The kind in which no toilet paper or wet wipes could do you an ounce of help.
1. You head to the shower and turn the faucet on. Prop yourself underneath with your legs up on the wall and let the forceful water from the faucet completely douse your ass crack and nether regions for a complete cleansing.
2. You turn your back to the sink, turn the faucet on and continually splash the water on your ass crack and nether regions completely cleansing any shrapnel or remnants of the disaster.
(Hand soap can be used in either scenario for extra cleansing)
After returning home from a Wing Fest, I had such an awful case of explosive diarrhea that a roll of tissue paper was not going to suffice, my only saving grace was to partake in a reverse bidet and douche my nether regions.
When you break wind and the sound that is made is very reminiscent of pulling on a zipper. As you control your flatulence, you can speed up or slow down the quickness of the zipper sound to make it sound like you are pulling the zipper faster or slower which causes those around you to giggle more.
1. It sounded as if someone had unzipped something until the smell hit me and I knew it was a "zipper ripper".
2. Before I unpacked my luggage, I had to pass gas and as I let it rip, I forced it out quicker giving it a quick unzipping sound, a "zipper ripper", and then unzipped my suitcase and laughed at how similar they both sounded.