Granny's Candy

When an older woman (65 or older) squirts into an ice cube tray, freezes it, and gives it to a younger male, claiming it is hard candy.

Chris: Beatrice granny's candy-ed James the other day and he got so pissed.

Mike: (Twitter post) Just caught my grandma trying to give my friend some granny's candy. #squirtinyourmouth

by Mattj June 29, 2014

Amish tug

to masturbate without the aid of any pornography; no electronic devices/magazines which are not part of Amish culture

The power went out and my phone was dead so I had to Amish tug.

I pulled an Amish tug last night because I was too tired to look up porn.

by Mattj March 02, 2015

Y'allre

you+all+are; a word used to describe a group of people efficiently.

(to a group of ignorant people): Y'allre stupid

by Mattj May 28, 2016

faauck

Like its four letter cousin but much more jocular, for use in non-serious but very annoying circumstances.

I just spilt coffee all over my keyboard, fell off my chair into a puddle of catsick and accidentally sent the text to my boss I was just writing to get out some feelings; fauuck. :(

by mattJ November 10, 2004

Buttfaced

Similar to butt dialing, but with FaceTime

I just checked my phone and saw that I buttfaced my ex.

by Mattj October 10, 2016

Squibly Skwobly

1. A term usually used by people under the influence of a mind altering drug (most commonly cannabis) to describe objects that resemble waves or curvy lines.
2. The name used to describe the emoticon :S

1. Man, the ceiling sure is squibly skwobly.
2. I drew a squibly skwobly on your face.

by mattj July 26, 2004

J.O. and O.J.

Jerking off and orange juice; Masturbating in the morning (i.e. before breakfast).

Sorry I'm late, I was just finishing some J.O. and O.J.

by Mattj June 07, 2016