6 definitions by mattie

A manipulating, self-centered bitch. EXTREMELY hypocritical and illogical, my mom will do anything to win an argument. She belittles you, makes fun of you, puts you down, all in order to get her point across so she can be the "dominant" one. Sunny and sweet outside, and maniacal and cold at home, she's a backstabbing racist old-fashioned who exaggerates things waaay to much, again, so she can win an argument. I cannot tell her ANYTHING about my life without her critisizing me or making me feel worse. She uses her children to show off to other parents, something she can be proud of and brag over the phone. She's ignorant and superstitious and emotional and lame. I am only grateful for her giving birth to me, and feeding me.

Not all mothers are like this; just a few. I just wanted to post a definition where mom isn't the most wonderful woman in your life.
1) Her: Mexicans and Blacks are lazy.

2) Her: God, your friends are such sluts! They can use tampons already? How can they use tampons, unless their hymens are already broken, meaning they must of had sex! Whores!

3) Her: Look at your sister, sitting in her room, reading a book and studying! Look at what YOU'RE doing.
Me: I read almost everyday and get straight As!
Her: Well, you read too much!

4) Her: You have not accomplished anything this year! You are a loser and you will never make it in life! The only reason you aren't failing at school is because of ME.

5) Her: *nag nag*
Me: Hold on, I'm on the phone.
Her: *continues nagging*
Me: Be quiet Ma, I'm on the phone!
Her: Don't tell me to shut up! Such disrespect! I can do whatever I want to, nag nag...

ONE WEEK LATER....

Me: Mom, I need to go to the library to check out some-
Her: SHUT UP, I'M ON THE PHONE!

6) Her: You cannot dye your hair! Once you do, you will become a bad girl and start having sex with random strangers!
Me: How can hair color determine your behaviour?
Her: Look at all the people who have green hair!

7) Her: You mean the Earth revolves around THE SUN?!?!

I swear, all of these anecdotes are true. She has caused me severe psychological damage; bad self image, low self esteem, depression. I wish I had your mother instead.
by Mattie May 07, 2005
While engaging in doggie style intercourse the person from behind proceeds to spread the front persons asshole apart while clearing the throat and then drip the flem directly into the unsuspecting anal passage while shoving the index finger in and out mercilessly..
ass drops or ass spit
by Mattie January 07, 2005
i.e. WOW! or thats good.. or another word for brilliant lol
just had sex.. it was good.....*fanfuckingtastic*
by mattie February 21, 2005
cocaine with a yellow tint
You can tell this coke has not been cut; this is butter
by mattie September 27, 2003
Is an awesome girl and is fletch's girlfriend
i love pinkyhusky she is totally awesome and is the best girlfriend ever
by mattie April 01, 2005
The art of 2 males connecting their anuses with a plastic, clear tube. The feces is then transported from male to male.
Today, I was caught chunneling with Hoopchap.
by Mattie March 30, 2004

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